Jar of Sunshine- Part 5

              Sumitra had felt like a free bird when she had set foot in her village. She had breathed in the scents that she had grown up around and walked through the kaccha roads and fields. Her grandparents were a bit apprehensive but they tried to hide that and appeared glad to see her.
           
             Sumitra had rested her head in her grandmother's lap and wondered about her future. What would she do here that could ease their life? She had fallen asleep and for the first time in the last whole year, she had slept without a care. It had then come to her. She had woken up all of a sudden and told her grandmother. She would open a food service.

             With the small sum of money that Sunaina's father had lent her, she rented the small worn down shop near the market. Next she spread the word that she would open a meal service. For trial she started out with afternoon meals. She gathered that a lot of daily wagers and workers in the market shop would like to eat a different variety of food at a lower price. At the same time, the small offices in the market had people who would like a nice home cooked meal served hot.

            IT had been a success. She had also initiated her neighbors into her business. They sold their fresh field produce and milk to her. She started growing a few vegetables in her grandparent's backyard. Slowly and steadily, the profits grew and she bought a bigger place on rent. She hired help as the customers grew. Some people frowned at her for being a young girl and running a hotel business, but she took it in her stride.

          On her 17th birthday, she had a proper hotel, a house that had all the amenities and happy grandparents. It was the year she met Ram. He had seen her at her hotel and fallen in love with her beauty. When he came to know all about her from the village folks, he had made his mind to marry her. It was tough to make her agree but he had won her heart. Ram was an orphan and himself a small hotelier in another city. He had a few relatives in the village who took the proposal to Sumitra's grandparents. Within the year, they were married.

        Life changed for the best in years to come. She had sold her hotel and brought her grandparents with her. Ram had taken good care of them. His business prospered and they moved to a big villa with servants at their beck and call. Sumitra had all the comforts of life but her sunshine was her husband. He loved her deeply and always sought her advice in important matters. He supported her decisions and held her hand through them. In years to come, they had become inseparable. The years only added to their companionship. He had accepted her background and respected her for all that she had achieved. She had given her heart and soul to the man who stood by her through thick and thin.
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       Ram took a sharp turn. They were nearing Anuya nivas. Sumitra did not know what she would find there.
      They got out of the car. The house wore a deserted look. The climbers grew on the window. Pigeons sat on the sill. The steps were broken. They entered the compound. An old lady peeked from the door next to Anuya nivas.
      "Why have you come here? Didn't you have enough last year?" she asked her.

     How could she forget! Anuya and Sumitra had exchanged numbers. Out of the blue, Anuya had told her she was getting married soon. It had not occured to Sumitra to ask about her marriage. Anuya was 36 and Sumitra was 46 with two sons aged 20 and 23.  Anuya went on to talk to someone else.

    Sunaina, who had met Sumitra earlier, grabbed her by the arm.
  " Don't believe what she says. She's been talking like that for a few years now." She had whispered.
  "Like what?" Sumitra had asked incredulously.
  " I shouldn't be saying this, Anuya has lost her mind. That entire family is doomed. Ishwar Narayan lost his job when the company closed down in 1994. He has been doing odd jobs since then. Anuya tried her hand at jobs but failure to find a match for her was depressing her. That sister of hers has had a chain of affairs.We stopped counting how many! The boy was good but he too ended up becoming a drunkard. One might say years of curses have manifested but Anuya is a sad sight."

   Sumitra was dumbstruck with what Sunaina revealed. She had never imagined Anuya to have met this fate. She had loved Anuya the best.

   "Sumitra, come its time to go to the temple." Anuya had grabbed her hand.
   "Anuya, wait." She had freed herself uneasily.
   " There is no one who is marrying you." Rukmini appeared from  nowhere. She had become more bitter with time Sumitra thought.
    "I m telling you I m getting married you stupid woman. Why can't you see me happy" She had become violent and reached for a knife that was laying with fruits. There was a chaos as people hurried with fear. Anuya had slashed her wrist. It was as if Sumitra had come to the funeral of two people she knew the best from this city.

     Ishwar Narayan was too proud to admit that his beloved daughter needed medical help. Rukmini had turned a ghost of herself. Her sparse hair, skin clinging to her bones and hollow eyes had made Sumitra pity her. Anuya had recuperated from the wounds and doctors had suggested she be given psychiatric help. Ishwar Narayan had looked helpless and broken down. He had no money to afford such care.

    Anuya was nowhere close. Sumitra caught hold of a boy in the locality and told him to call Ishwar Narayan who stayed in a small rented house at a distance. Ram and Sumitra went to the Ganesh temple. They couldn't find her even there.

    "Are you searching for me" said a voice she recognized too well.
    "Anuya, how did you come here?" Sumitra asked scared to see her. Her hair was a mess and she wore a blue hospital gown.
    " It is my marriage today."
     She looked at Ram for some help but he looked clueless as well. They tried to keep her off the edge of the temple which had a deep mangrove on the other side.

     Rukmini and Ishwar Narayan reached the temple and were shocked to see their daughter. For a moment they thought Anuya had become well looking at her behavior but her garb said otherwise. Ram had offered to help to get Anuya good care. She had somehow escaped and still had Sumitra's contact number.
   
    The sight of her parents bewildered Anuya. She became violent again. Not heeding to anything they said, she jumped off the edge. Amid the shouts of all, Sumitra turned mute with fear.  

    Sumitra and Ram could do nothing.

    Ishwar Narayan and Rukmini got the worst punishment ever any parent could get. Their daughter committed suicide in front of their eyes.

    Ram and Sumitra returned home late that night. Anuya's body was found and she was cremated.

    Sumitra reclined on the bed, her head heavy with the events that had unfolded.
    "No one can beat Karma Sumitra. Anuya got the returns of her parents' karma."
    " I told her about the jar of sunshine. I wonder if she ever found hers."
    " She would find it.." He held his wife and wiped her tears.
 
                                          


-Inspired by a true story

Jar of Sunshine Part 4

    Read Part 3
Pre Script- There was some problem because of which part 3 wasn't getting displayed on dashboard.. If you haven't read it, this part wouldn't make sense :P

          She was all of 15 when she was standing at the bus stop, unusually aware of her fragility and grown up much more than the 14 yr old that she once was. It was getting dark and she was scarred of the people who were now crowding the bus stop. She was intimidated by a figure who was hurriedly approaching her but relaxed when she saw it was Sunaina's father. He handed her a few notes secretly and whispered, "Take care". He took to his heels before she could even thank him.
           
              She had never approached a shop alone, forget about a booking office. Her stomach was grumbling with hunger and she felt it knot in anxiety. She went to the counter and asked about the bus leaving to her village. The bored man at the counter yawned and looked at the chart and told her the bus would leave early morning at 6.  An unknown fear gripped her. Where would she spend the night?

             It was dark and it had started drizzling. She thought of going to the Ganesh temple. That was the best resort. The eateries had all shut down and she didn't know if she could afford the ticket if she ate. So she walked straight to the temple. She sat on the stairs. Tears welled up her eyes as the events of the past 24 hours filled her mind. She already missed Anuya and the boy who was too young and spent more than half of his life in her arms. The little girl was a stranger to her.
             " This is no place for a young girl to sit" a woman said.

             Sumitra looked at the woman. It was the jolly woman who lived a few houses away from Anuya nivas. She was a single woman and Ishwar Narayan often mentioned her as "jolly" to his friends. He would say she had a loose character. She would entertain men and keep young woman at her home. He would say  she drank and smoke with the men. The woman was frowned upon by the neighbors. Sumitra shifted uneasily when the woman placed a hand on her shoulder. The woman looked hurt.

            "I know. I know what you must be thinking. That ungrateful couple must have filled your ears too with stories. You ought to know better girl. This world is no safe place for single women. Not with snakes like Ishwar Narayan and his wife."
         
            She wondered what the woman meant.

           "I m not Jolly, my name is Meera. My husband was a friend to Ishwar Narayan. Ishwar Narayan and my husband grew up together. When we were married, a lot of objections were raised for our love. Ishwar Narayan too was never supportive. Yet when he needed money to buy that house, my husband gave him a generous loan. My dear husband died in an unfortunate accident and Ishwar Narayan didn't even show his face. He never returned the loan and I had to forsake my wedding jewellery to pay for the cremation of my husband. How my husband might have been pained to see me pawn the jewellery that he so lovingly made for me. Ishwar Narayan and that wretched wife of his will burn in hell" She cried out.

         Sumitra pitied the woman. How wrong she had been. After all, how can anyone trust what Ishwar Narayan said. Didn't he malign Sumitra the same way.

       " Don't be scared. I don't sell girls. They stay over at my place when they have to make a transit. I charge for sleeping in at my house. It is too big for a lonely woman. That's how I make a living. I rent out the space to travellers or holidaying couples. I won't charge you. Come to my house and rest for the night. There is nobody for a few days. God knows if the demons have even fed you. Let me serve you. That much I owe your mother. "

       "You knew my mother?" she asked in surprise.
      "Why, we went to the same school! You remind me so much of her." she lovingly said.
      " I m not like her." Sumitra had said.
      " I know you must be hating her. Understand one thing. She was a gentle woman. Much like how you are. Gentle and loving. A woman has her moments of loneliness. Her husband stayed away from her for years making a living in the city. She was charmed by a man and went down the wrong path. I admit she did a grave injustice to you by ending her life. She wasn't as strong as you are. But she was good to me always. She never let me go empty stomached when I went to her house and I wouldn't send her daughter away to the dangers of the night."

        She had grabbed Sumitra's hand. She had made hot water for her to bathe and change and then served her hot food. When she was rested well, Meera had fed her breakfast and asked her if she really wanted to go to the village or stay back. She had offered to help Sumitra with her stay. Sumitra had wanted to go back and Meera respected her wish.

       She dropped Sumitra to the bus stand and bought her the tickets. When Sumitra had volunteered to pay she had shoved it aside and told her to use the money in a constructive way. Before she boarded the bus, Meera had hugged Sumitra and said,
       "Remember one thing, there are people who are after your beauty. If you are not careful, they will charm you and rub you the wrong way. Give your heart and soul to one who would preserve you. Marry the man who would stay by your side despite your background. Till then, just do your work. One day the jar of sunshine would open for you."

     Sumitra had thanked her for the hospitality and followed her advise.

    " Do you have Meera aunty's number?" Sumitra asked Ram.
    " Yes, but why do you want that?" 
     Meera had died last year and left behind the house to an orphanage. Sumitra had stayed in contact with Meera and even visited her once. It was during that visit that Sumitra had seen Anuya. 
     
      Anuya had not recognized her. Sumitra could only place her only because someone had pointed at Anuya. She had a wheatish complexion and had grown taller than Sumitra's 5'6. Her hair looked like a nest. The ringlets were gone and her hair looked unwashed. She herself was healthy and wore a white salwar kameez. Sumitra felt awkward to start a conversation with her. Rukmini and Ishwar Narayan were not close by.
     The older neighbors told Anuya who Sumitra was. She seemed happy to meet Sumitra although Sumitra could tell she scarcely had any memory of her.
     "So Sumi did you find your jar of sunshine?" she asked in a hoarse voice.
      Sumitra was shocked when she asked that. First for the question and second for the deep voice she had. Sumitra could never forget that. They had exchanged numbers that day.

     " Maybe some older neighbor still staying there would have his number and inform him" she said.
     "Wait I wil try." Her husband parked the car on the side of the road and dialled a number. 
     "No one picking up" He told her. 
     "Do you think they know yet?" she asked worried.
     "Don't worry Sumi, maybe they know already. We will reach before 9." He held her hand and comforted her. 
      Like he had done 30 years back..

Jar of Sunshine Part-3

    Read Part 1      and Part 2



             In a few months time, Rukmini was again huge with a baby. She lay on her bed all the time and shouted out orders to Sumitra. Anuya and her brother depended entirely on Sumitra to look after them. Ishwar Chandra started coming home earlier than usual to shop for the vegetables and help Anuya with her homework. Anuya was his favorite and he pampered her a lot. Rukmini would sometimes yell at Anuya and the girl would refuse to eat until Ishwar Narayan came home and fed her himself. She was the only one who could get away with even kicking Ishwar Narayan. He indulged her so much that even Rukmini would be irritated.
           
              Troubles started when Anuya began taking sides with Sumitra. She would see how over worked Sumitra would be with all the household work and rebuke Rukmini for doing nothing. She would insist that Rukmini ready her for school and tie her pony so that Sumitra could finish with her cooking. She also started demanding that Ishwar Narayan prepare the evening snacks. He could do little to convince her otherwise. He gave in to her demands and following that one could see Ishwar Narayan grating coconut or cutting onions after returning from work early. In her own little ways, Anuya was the only companion Sumitra had. She would amuse her with the stories she learnt at school, bring her the toffees that kids distributed on birthdays, teach her a few words in English and sing filmy songs for her. In return, Sumitra would fascinate her with stories her grandmother used to tell her. Her attachment with Anuya pricked Rukmini but she stayed mum. After all she needed the girl.

           In her eighth month, Rukmini's sister joined her at Anuya nivas. She had come to help her with the  delivery. She was a pompous fat lady who never failed to belittle Sumitra everytime she opened her mouth. Layers of fat hung from her waist and her belly protruded more than Rukmini. She would put kumkum on her forehead using a coin. Although she came as a help with cooking special nutrition that had to be given in pregnancy, she would otherwise just be a burden. She would sit on the cot oiling and braiding her curly long hair or rubbing tobacco on her palms and comment on Sumitra. Sumitra hated her.

         It was the month of June and it was raining heavily. Sumitra was sleeping after a hard day. She heard cries and woke up with a start. She could feel the unrest in the house. Rukmini was experiencing labor pain. Rukmini's sister had gone to a relative's house and slept there after dinner. Ishwar Narayan was sleeping with the kids. Sumitra was scared to see Rukmini wail like that. She fetched water and went to wake up Ishwar Narayan. He shouted at her to call the neighboring women. Without waiting to search for an umbrella, she had gone from door to door fetching women from neighboring houses.  She had come home drenched and pacified the crying children. Hours later she heard a baby crying. It was a baby girl.
        Next morning, Rukmini's sister came home, smiling sheepishly.

       One would expect that after spending a year in the house and doing so much work, Sumitra would finally be accepted. It was far from the truth. Rukmini always cradled the baby in her arms. With the new baby who was fair and pink, Rukmini had suddenly become very proud. She started discriminating against  Anuya who was getting dusky as she was growing up. It angered Ishwar Narayan but he knew better than to infuriate Rukmini. Although she continued being lazy, she now overlooked all the work that Sumitra was doing and found it unsatisfactory. She also noticed the young lads who would make rounds for a glimpse of Sumitra.

     One evening Rukmini sent Sumitra to the market to buy some vegetables. She took Sunaina for company.
On their way back, they were about to enter their colony when a youth came running and quickly handed a letter to Sumitra. She stood petrified. Not knowing what to do, she threw the letter on the ground and walked away. She did not see Ishwar Narayan walking behind her. He picked up the letter.

     She was pouring the tea when a loud commotion ensued. She rushed to the hall and saw Sunaina and her mother along with Ishwar Narayan and Rukmini. Without giving any further thought to what he said, Sunaina's mother, who was Ishwar Narayan's sister-in-law, began slapping Sunaina.

    "Will you go again with that girl?" she asked.
    "Mother, we did nothing!" Sunaina protested.
    " Shut up, I don't want another word." She took Sunaina to her home.

    "Like mother like daughter" Rukmini mouthed. It cut Sumitra to the core.


     Next evening Ishwar Narayan brought home the neighbors. His brother (Sunaina's father), their other neighbors and a few of the relatives were present. Ishwar Narayan showed them the letter.
     "We gave her shelter, good food and clothes and she is whoring around here. Look at this letter. She is shameless to write love letter and throw at guys. What would become of our reputation were she to beget a child like her mother got her!"

     She pleaded to Sunaina's father, who was the eldest brother, "Uncle, I did not throw the letter at anyone. A boy handed it to me and I threw it back. Trust me uncle. Please." She cried.
    Rukmini spewed venom by saying, " We all know the blood that courses your vein. You expect us to believe you!!" She slapped Sumitra.

    The next moments were a blur. The neighbors stood mute as Ishwar Narayan soiled her reputation by falsely accusing her of affairs that she never had. In the next few minutes she saw herself all packed and thrown out of the house, with not even enough money to go back to her village. Anuya sobbed uncontrollably and hugged her. While she was getting pulled by Rukmini, Anuya had shouted
        "Remember the jar of sunshine? You said that fairy gifts all of us. Yours will also open and you will be happy. Don't forget me Sumi didi"

       "I shall never forget you" she had said to herself.

       With her bag of clothes and the address of her grandparents, she stood at the bus stand. Not knowing how she would go.

(To be continued)
    

Jar of sunshine Part 2

Read the First Part Here

  They had reached Anuya Nivas at noon. They had eaten on their way home. A meal of puri and potato. Sumitra had never eaten something like that. All the oil made her queasy. She stomached it with difficulty. She had grown on a diet of boiled rice and curry. On the other side of the table, Rukmini and Ishwar Narayan ate hungrily. Anuya was eating bread and butter and the 8-month old baby sat in Sumitra's lap sucking on his milk bottle. Ishwar Narayan twisted his face with each bite that churned in his mouth. Rukmini never lifted her head up and was engrossed in her plate. Sumitra wondered what kind of food they cooked at home. Soon she discovered.

            She was occupied all the time in Anuya Nivas. She woke up early at 5 am to brew the tea and keep the water heated for everyone to bath. She was the first to bath and get dressed. She would then prepare the breakfast of chapatis and a vegetable. Ishwar Narayan woke up at 7 and would want his breakfast and tea ready by then. She would then set to prepare tiffins for Ishwar Narayan and Anuya. Ishwar Narayan would leave the house at 8.30 and wake up his wife while leaving. She would then saunter lazily by her daily task. Sumitra would wake up Anuya at 8.30 and get her ready for school. The 4 yr old girl would chatter uncontrollably with her and Anuya listened to all her blabber with a smile. The 8 month old baby would come  to her sometimes in the middle of work and she would host him up her waist while working. After the the baby was bathed and fed and Anuya sent to school, Sumitra would have to wash all the clothes. By noon she would keep the lunch ready. Rukmini would get dressed and go to the market and come back at noon for lunch. After lunch she went to her siesta.

            Sumitra would start preparing some snack for evening at 3. Anuya would return at 4 and Ishwar Narayan at 5. It was the time between noon and 3 that she had all for herself. She would sometimes play with the baby in the verandah. The neighborhood kids would too flock to play. She would talk with the girls her age. It was this time that she truly was free. Her beauty soon became a topic of the area. Some young lads often made rounds of the house to catch a glimpse of her. She herself wasn't unaware of it but like any girl that age, she had enjoyed the attention.

           After the evening snacks there wasn't much work for her. Sometimes Ishwar Narayan's relatives would come over for a brief chat or his friend's would join for tea. After dinner, she would do the dishes and by 9 she would recline to her mat and slip into a deep sleep. She was tired but she was happy. Atleast she wasn't starving and she got a small sum of money which she sent to her grandparents.

         One evening she sat listening to the radio that Rukmini had bugged her husband for. Rukmini would listen to the programs sometimes and Sumitra would silently join in too. There was a knock on the door and Sumitra went to answer it.

        On the door stood a man she had never seen before. The man stared at her and she thought he looked angry. She ran to Rukmini to tell her about the man. Rukmini went to the door and smiled at the man.
"Come in, Anuya's father is in bath. He will join us soon."

The man entered but his gaze did not leave Sumitra. Sumitra felt uneasy. She felt that something was going to go very wrong that evening.

Ishwar Narayan came out from the bath bare chested with a lungi around his waist. He was surprised to see his brother.

"How dare you keep her in your house?" the man was shouting at Ishwar Narayan.

"Brother, you are misunderstanding me." Ishwar Narayan replied meekly.

This man was his brother but there was no resemblance. This man was lean unlike Ishwar Narayan's broad figure. His hands were rugged but his finger delicate unlike the twisted ones of Ishwar Narayan. The man hovered at full 6.2 feet against Ishwar Narayan's 5 feet 8 inches. The man's features were handsome.

"You brought this girl here to shame me! You have the cheek to deny that?" he roared in fury. Sumitra wondered what problem he had with her.

" Please calm down brother. We wanted a girl to look after little Chintu and I have so much of work at home. With two kids and husband to look after and another baby on its way, I was overwhelmed. She was anyway at her grandparent's house and they are too old to look after her. We brought her just to look after Chintu. We will send her away after the baby."

The man had huffed and gone away in anger. Rukmini had snapped at Sumitra to go to her room. Sumitra was still clueless about why the man had been so cross with her. She was seeing him for the first time.

When Sunaina, the friendly girl from the neighboring house told her the truth, Sumitra was aghast. Sunaina was Ishwar Narayan's elder brother's daughter and had a keen ear for such gossip and scandals.

The man was Sumitra's mother's husband. He had shifted to another town after his second marriage.

Sumitra was only a babe when her mother had committed suicide by jumping into a well. She had left behind Sumitra and her elder sister Namita. Namita was the man's true daughter. Sumitra was created out of adultery. Her mother had had a relation with her distant relative who begot her Sumitra.
                           

          

Sumitra was just a suckling babe when her mother was confronted by her husband and the adultery was in plain sight. After her mother's death, her sister was sent to her maternal uncle's house and Sumitra was left in the care of her grandparents. Sumitra had never known her mother or father. Her sister too was disowned by her father who went on to start a new life with a new marriage.

As it happened, Sumitra had an uncanny resemblance to her mother. So much so that it took not more than a first look for the man to know it was his wife's daughter.

That night Sumitra grieved for her mother. The mother who committed a sin that ruined her life. She grieved for her sister who was disowned despite being a legitimate child. She grieved for her father. The father who never once thought about her. She grieved for her grandparents who were too poor to keep her with them. She lay on her mat thinking about how her  life might have been. She heard a woman giggling. She peeked out of her window.

Rukmini sat with Ishwar Narayan in the verandah on their jute cot. It was pitch dark outside.
"So proud the woman was, of her beauty!" she remarked.
"My brother was no less. The most handsome man he thought of himself and yet his beautiful wife found him insufficient to fulfill her needs."
"I wonder what would happen to the girl. She is too beautiful for her own good. We can't keep her here forever. She's going to be a wild thing, like her mother. I thought I would like to see her work for me as my servant. It makes me feel I finally have her mother as my servant. But the sight of her beauty disturbs me. I don't want you looking at her."
"You are more than enough for me. Maybe we should fulfill the lie you blurted to my brother. A kid underway huh" he fondled her and took her right there.

Sumitra huddled back to her bed and wept for what seemed like ages. They did it all purposely. She cried to sleep.. It was just the beginning of her miseries and she had thought she had left it all behind..

(To be continued)

Jar of Sunshine

The house was dead silent. The curtains still thickly drawn. The loud ring of the phone woke up Sumitra. Still groggy from sleep, she reached for her phone. She had never noticed how shrill her ringtone could be and made a mental note to change it today. The brightness of the screen dilated her pupils and she uneasily answered the phone.

"Sumitra, I m getting married today" said the excited voice on the other side.
"What? Anuya where are you?" she asked worried.
"Why, at home. You should come today at 9 to the Ganesh Temple near our house. Bring everyone ok."
"Which home?"
"Anuya nivas obviously. I have to get ready now. You come here ok."
She hung up on her. Sumitra climbed off her bed and searched for her telephone diary. There were some contacts she hadn't fed on her mobile phone. Some long forgotten contacts.
She heard her husband whining about the lights she had switched on. She did not bother to answer him and that alarmed him.
"Sumitra what are you searching for?" he asked perplexed.
"My telephone diary."
He rubbed his eyes and checked the time. It was 4 am. On a sunday morning.
"Whose contact?"
"Ishwar Narayan" she finally mouthed the name. A name she had not uttered in years.

At 5 am they set out in their car. Her sons were still in deep slumber when they had bolted the door behind them. She had left notes on the fridge and under their phones.  She hoped to return before they woke up at noon.

She glanced at her husband. He gave her another look as if asking her if she was sure. She nodded. He looked ahead and gained speed. They could make to Anuya nivas in about 2 hours or less. It was 100 kms away from her home.
She couldn't place her diary and Ram had made whatever contacts he had but couldn't trace the number. Looking at her desperation he had suggested they themselves go but regretted it the moment he saw the hurt on his wife's face. A few minutes later she had overcome her hurt and urged him to take her there. He had given in to her and they had quickly got dressed.

They crossed the bridge. It was getting brighter outside and she could see the still water of the river.
 Years back she had crossed this bridge. She had been just 14. It was the first time she had sat in a bus. Maybe it was the first time she remembered sitting in a bus. They said she was just an infant when she was brought to her grandparents. She must have been in a bus to reach her grandparents then.  When she was 14 she had dreams of a naive maiden. She dreamt  of a big house where she would work. She would get to wear better apparels than the hand-me-downs of her neighbors or cousins. She could have a diet of butter, eggs and cheese like the glossy pictures she saw in her old textbooks.

She had stretched her hand out of the bus and waived at the women carrying firewood. She let the wind ruffle her hair like a loving father that she never had. She ate the berries she had plucked in her grandparent's house and saw the ripples that the seeds created when she flung them in the water from the bus. It had been very early in the morning and the passengers in the bus had been dozing. When they had entered the town, the honks of buses and other vehicles had woken up others. She had never seen so many vehicles in her quaint village. They still used bullock carts there. She watched in awe the many cycles and scooters. When she looked besides her, Ishwar Narayan was still sleeping with his mouth wide open.

She heard a baby wail in the seat behind. The woman came to her seat. Ishwar Narayan too was woken up by the loud cries. The woman was his wife, Rukmini. She saw Sumitra, the wide moist eyes, the thick dark eyebrows, the luscious lips and her fair complexion and felt a stab of jealousy at her flowing raven tresses, silky and waist length. She handed her the baby and said, " Here, hold him for sometime. Wake me up when we reach."

Sumitra had never handled a baby. The baby was only 8 months old. He kept crying and Sumitra tried to make faces to keep him amused. She rocked him gently and sang a lullaby that she had heard her neighbor sing. It seemed to soothe the baby.
"Finally he is stopped!" she heard someone say. She looked up. She saw a small girl. Round faced with large nose and short statured girl in a frill frock. She was standing on the seat behind peeking into Sumitra's seat. She was fair and had curly hair which broke in ringlets at her forehead.  The hair was oiled and tied firmly into a pony but still seemed to be spread in all directions. The girl must have been 4. She seemed to take a liking for Sumitra and stealthily handed her a toffee.
"Give it back to her." growled Ishwar Narayan. Sumitra jolted at this sudden raised voice.
"Anuya I bought that toffee for you. Don't give it to anyone."
"Liar! You stole it from the jar in Chinku mama's shop" the girl answered.
Sumitra chuckled to herself. That was her first time she had seen Anuya.

(To be continued)

It's the girls fault!

               "Women are like precious gold. If you expose them, they will be looted" 

Like many women who read this line from a politician in the morning newspaper, I was bewildered. How dare they blame the woman for the unmanly, savage gang rape? Further they say that woman should be accompanied by a male while travelling at night. Right! That's exactly what Nirbhaya was doing. But that was her "friend" who was with her and that automatically raised further questions as to what "she was doing" with a man rather than what those barbarians did to her. That was Delhi and Delhi is not safe for girls. Girls should shut themselves up in their homes after 5 pm when in Delhi. When a photo-journalist accompanied by her colleague was gang raped in the "safe" city of Mumbai in early evening hour, they still blame the woman!

                                                 

More than the insensitive people issuing such statements, I was furious at the newspapers which print it on the first page.
               
                I discussed this later with my father and I was taken aback when he supported the statement. The next thing I heard was Mom backing it up. How could they, the educated and free minded parents, think like that? IT.ISNT.THE.GIRL'S FAULT. Rape is completely the fault of the man. I argued that no one has the right to rape a girl no matter what hour she is out, no matter with whom she is, no matter what she is wearing.                 It was when they said," It is not the girl's fault that she got raped, it is the girl's fault that she knows she lives in such times and behaves recklessly". I sat back to think on it.

              Lets just forget rape for a moment. Take up theft for that matter. Let's say you have gold. Glittery and very expensive gold jewels which you love to wear. It is your right to wear what you want to wear and so you wear it. You go to high end hotels and parties and wedding. You walk back home all alone, do you feel safe? Do you go flaunting that gold as freely as you would in a protected environment? No, right? Why may I ask? The reason is simple. You know that you would be a soft target for thieves. There in you use your common sense and act cautious.
             Let's not compare theft and rape. Just look at the fundamental act. Act of crime. Rape is much grave and cruel I agree. Is our caution the same? Do we take adequate care to keep ourselves safe? The answer sadly and shockingly, is NO. 

            While it is a very valid fight that we are fighting against gender discrimination and freedom for women, can anyone of those crusaders stand up and assure that holding banners that say "Do not tell your daughter how to dress, teach your son not to rape" will help the case? Will it avert the lecherous eyes or be a downer for those devils? There is a thin line between boldness and foolishness. Teach your daughters to be cautious while the sons are being taught "not to rape". Overnight no amount of movements will make it safe for girls to grow up unmolested forget about wearing  hotpants and travel. It is a gradual process if it has to happen!
           
          I remember a recent wedding I attended. There was a young girl clad in a saree that was draped in a way that it went across only half her chest. She wore a low cut blouse that exposed all of her back and a good part of one breast. She must be younger than 20. She stood right in front of the stage facing the people sitting in the hall and enjoyed the attention that she was getting. She was talking to her relatives, many of whom were staring at her bosom. Men as old as 60s were all about her, talking to her and yet not taking their eyes off her chest. She behaved unaware of it all!
        On railway platforms, college girls wearing hot pants and racer backs face the same situation and are delusional about the wicked intentions of the men!
        Do not tempt them ladies. A decent man wouldn't rape even if you went naked. A rapist will rape you even if you are veiled. It is the intermediates that you must not provoke!

                                             

        After all there is some truth in the wisdom of the elders. Women are precious gold. We must protect ourselves because unlike thieves, rapists don't necessarily need to see the glitter.
         
        Accept it or not. It is lurking very close. You can escape it though!
     
       Dress appropriately. It is being hammered time and again and not without merit. Keep those shorts and sexy tops for the beaches and other occasions and not for the train to catch !
       
      Never let your kid out of sight. Gone are the days when you could keep your toddler  with relatives and take a shopping break. Never entrust a male member, no matter how close, to look after the kid in your absence. Leave them with your parents or carry them along.

      Tell them what is a bad touch and encourage them to talk about it. Yes, you have to tell them even if they are just 2 year old. No one touches your baby and gets away with it!

      Do not open the door to a stranger. When you are alone do not let anyone in. Talk to them at the door through the safety door (ensure you have one) and politely tell them to come later. If you must let them in then stand right at the entrance with the door wide open. It would be easier to run :P
     Sometimes it is unavoidable to let them in and not  accompany them ( for eg the man from gas company). Call out to your neighbor (always be on friendly terms!! ) or act as if on phone call and shout out the details of the person with you. "Arre wo gas wala aya hai ghar pe.." kind of conversation.

 
      Travelling I guess you all know this one by now. When taking an auto or cab, always sit right behind the driver. It is difficult for them to grab you. Make sure someone knows which cab or auto you are in. Say it loud so that even the driver knows!

      Avoid secluded spots Privacy be damned! You have all the time in this world for that but do not enter secluded areas as they are prime spots for rapists to lurk around. Even the guards at such places sometimes blackmail and rape the girl. Obviously it never gets reported most of the times!

     Trust your guts Believe me, a girl always has a weird feeling about certain places or people. Avoid them. Once you go somewhere and alarm bells start ringing then no matter what others say, do no return to that place.
 
    If you are attacked put your hands together with all your force (as if a loud clap) on his ears. It will set him off balance and give you time to run!
     
              I think we have reached a point where we are past talking about rapes. IT is always the same. A gang rape happens and  newspapers report it day in and out. New channels flash it as breaking news. A few politicians issue statements. Social media puts up posts and tweets. We sign online petitions. Rarest of the rare case sometimes gets punishment and then goes up the higher courts. We are all back to our lives. With careless abandon.
      

Trapped

           I kept clicking on link after link which yielded the same result. I dug deeper into the subject, subconciously drawing parallels. It was complex. Much more than I thought. When I found what I was looking for, I wasn't so sure if the hunt was better left at it. It did not matter that I had been right in raising doubts and turning to the internet for my answers. Did I feel guilty? No. It was more than that. I felt a loss. 
         
           We were awed by her right away just like anyone who hasn't known her up close. The shuffling of divisions had put us all at an awkward state. It was a heavy decision to take. To choose from Sanskrit entire and Sanskrit composite. Only a handful of students had volunteered to take up the entire course. The rest of the class was coerced by teachers with the promise that it was a "scoring" subject. No one bothered to underline "if you study from day one". It was a huge change to see our friends flung across the divisions and although we all promised to meet up during the break, we all knew that it was going to be rarer and rarer as we moved through the year.

           We entered the class on the first day in the new section, unsure of what to expect. Each one sat beside the person they knew from the previous class. It was by chance that we all sat together. It remained that way for the rest of the school. The numerous proxy classes gave us ample time to play truth or dare and it was this game that drew us close in the beginning.

           She was a people's person. There was no one in the class with whom she could not strike a conversation. She managed to get acquainted with even the lady who sat next to her in bus for the first time. People warmed up to her instantly. It was the way she seemed genuinely interested and honestly naive that made people feel protective towards her. When she was done with all her blabbering after coming to class and finally settled down with us, she would be full of stories.

          Her stories fascinated us. It was picture perfect. It amused me how her family always went out on weekends. She lived in a joint family and her father was a businessman. The conversations, the laughter, the togetherness was something we all envied being from nuclear families. On some days she went on and on about how they had been somewhere and she was gifted something or walked into someone famous.
         Her tiffin used to be dropped to school during lunch time and always had some or the other delicacies while we all frowned over our "nutritious" lunch pack.

        One day she came all disturbed to the class. We asked her what the matter was. She said she had lost her gold finger ring. We did not remember her wearing it to school. She said it was some ring having a particular gem stone which she had. After talking at length and trying to revive her memory as to where she last kept it, we gave up. The next day she told us she had found it. It had been in her rubber gloves. She described how she tended to the plants in her house and had used gloves and the ring probably came out while removing the gloves.
        Some other day it was the pencil box that she had forgotten in the classroom and searched the entire school the next day. We told her to let it go and there was hardly any chance of finding it. She told us it was important to search because it had the pen her deceased grandfather had given her as a last gift. It had sentimental values attached.

       Slowly it had started. It took us time to notice but notice we did.There was no ring and no sentimental pen. She went back on her words, sometimes drastically changing her statements. Altering, modifying statements until no more than a ghost of the previous one remained. We grew exasperated of challenging her. She was always ready with a defensive.
      "I will keep the phone. Reliance charges 4 rs" she said once.
      "It charges only 2." I argued
      "But if it goes to 2 mins then 4 rs na" she said bluntly.

       Still we stuck with her. Ignoring the faults and over looking the lies. She had started changing then. She started getting lost in the conversations. She slipped through gossips and suddenly realised she had missed it and asked us again. She kept quiet and became moody. Some days we saw her at the bus stop and waved but she kept staring at a distance, occupied in her thoughts.

       It took time. Time for her to begin to stop lying. Little by little I explored her world. Of the darkness that lay in it. She trusted me with the facts. It was nothing like what she talked of.
       Broken family, financial crisis, bickering relatives and one problem that lead into another. It was a cascade. I saw no hope but encouraged her to look at it. If it had been me, I would have drowned. She kept afloat, even swimming against the current. We had become close. With time things began to look up for her. Well deserved, I thought.

       Years later when I was staring in face of the new situation, I had no idea what I would find. 

      "This is the watch he gifted me last year" she announced excitedly to us as we started with our food. We were dining and she had bored us to death with every minute description of her date. She found it of immense importance to go over the most excruciatingly mundane details.
      "Isn't this the watch your friend gifted you?" I asked out of surprise.
      "That is what I told at home last year. I had told you that time also !"
      I stared disbelievingly. I.never.mess.up.such.details. NEVER.
 
       Why would she lie to me? What did she have to cover up? 
       Was my mind playing tricks? 

      I went over the the recent conversations in past when she had done something that confused me.

      She had blushed so much to show the dress that her guy had gifted and I had frankly felt a little envious of the same.
      A few days later she had told me of her shopping spree and described a dress that was exactly fitting that of her gift! I had brought out the fact and she had retracted on the design and color. I was perplexed but had let it pass.. This was a few months back.. How long had she been playing with me?

       My search on the internet had explained all the symptoms..
    -   Lying for no apparent reasons or to show a false image
    -  Retracting statements
    -   Marked change in stand
    -   Defensive
      and the list went on and on.. 

      I did not know how to deal with the situation. I decided to take a break from all thoughts. Confrontations bear  no fruit in some cases and silence is the best resort. 

     A couple of months later she came over to meet me. I was a little busy. She talked  about some problems. It was rather late in the night and I was worn out to think clearly. I knew she wanted no suggestions. Just someone to listen to.
     "Why does this happen to me? It is not that everything is perfect, then why?"
     It was then that I realised. She was trapped. She was trapped by her compulsive lying. She was a good person at heart but lying was something she cannot control. All I had to do was to give her the support to keep floating..
                                          
FICTION