Because I m not alone..

            I remember the correct order of events that brought him into my life..

My mom and dad both work and I used to stay with my grandparents while they were away at work. I was pampered with lots of toys as the adults failed to keep me amused. My house had a big gunny sack in which I filled my toys and when I wanted to play I simply overturned it, making a mess of the whole room. I got chided enough times and the only standard excuse I used to give would be, "All my friends have brother or sister, they play with them in afternoon.. Only I get bored.. Everybody fights with me for toys.. I m katti with all" and then I would get that benevolent look and no matter mess I had created, it would be cleared by one of the adults.

           I also have memories of sulking on Rakshabandhan because I didn't have a brother to tie a rakhi to. My friends on the other hand, dressed up and got gifts for tieing a rakhi. My next door neighbors were two boys , one my age and one elder. I made them my rakhi brother. The feeling is never the same and that I realised once my brother entered my life..

          I was 6 years old when Mom told me that she would bring a child to play with me. I was overjoyed. By then I had a younger sister as a cousin, who was and is still close to me although she is 6 years younger to me. So the choice was clear. I wanted Mom to bring only a younger brother!!!!!!

         The Kargil war was in full force and I was greatly influenced by it. When you are young ,the mind is easily impressioned and I had a patriotic fever. I was an avid newspaper reader at an early age. I pleaded mom to have a boy so that we can send him to army!

        It was December, the month of anticipation. Mom was in her last month of pregnancy and I was severely ill due to jaundice. I was on complete  bed rest. 

        The night Mom had to be sent to hospital. My father and another relative accompanied her while I was left in the care of a distant relative who had come over to sleep for the night. 

        The next evening I was sitting in the verandah when my aunt came home. 

"You have a brother now." she smiled at me and patted my head.

        The neighbors all started making turns for the hospital to see the new born and I was left home, feeling jealous that the neighbors had seen the newborn first! It was my gift!!!

        Finally I was taken to see my mother. She was resting. My Dad took me to look into a yellow lighted cabin that had a small bundle. The nurse lifted it and brought it closer. The sight filled me with a feeling I would never be able to define. I was too young to feel love or maternal instincts .. I could just feel possessive of it.. It was mine...

        He looked at me with large eyes which looked luminous. He had jet black straight hair which were spiked! That guy came with style! He was instantly named Mogli by the nurses. He was dark complexioned but his cheeks turned pink when he cried.

       My joy was shortlived. He soon became the centre of attention of  my world. I thought I was largely ignored while I was treated like just another kid. I was accustomed to feeling royal! 

       My Mom spent all her time with him. Dad came home and played with him. I started feeling jealous. I ridiculed his dark complexion. I was the fair one. He was too young to understand the venom in me. 

        He laughed when he saw me. His eyes following me wherever I was  in the room. I was the closest to his size and that might have sprung a bond in him. He would know somehow that it was 5 o'clock and keep putting out his head to see if I came home from school. He would watch me play while my Mom held him in her arms. He would come to hold me when any stranger entered the house. 

        There were moments which when I look back now, were of so much importance which I saw. I saw him first land on his stomach and crawl. I was the sole witness when he sat himself the first time. When he first uttered something.. When he first stood up.. When he would hold the support and walk and when he let go of his support and walked the first time.. So many first times which I was a part of.. 

        I resented having to look after him all the time when I went out of play. He would bump into someone and fall and I would be shouted at. I had to take responsibility for him very early in life.

       As he grew up, he conveniently burdened me with his projects, his art work, his drawing assignments and for that he says,

"You topped school and because of you all teachers expect great things out of me.. So you only do."

        He was the innocent one, the forgiving, the loving brother. While he cried when I called him "kaala" or something like that, I would shout at him if he said anything to me. He once told my aunt, " I m dark, my sister is beautiful." I came to know of this too late and I still can't believe how that kid must have loved me when I was so awful.

       So many years later, he still is the support and forgiving one of his erring, spoilt sister. He is well into this teenage and I see that aggressive streak in him now. We have mad arguments to the point of throwing things at each other and the very next moment he would come to me with something funny and we would both be talking, scheming and laughing. My Mom often says, "People who come in between your fights would go mad!!"

Somethings never do change,

Like how I always lose my erasers and he got me a whole box of erasers :D

How I can always ask him to search for things I misplaced :D

How we cover up for each other.

How he always keeps chocolates for me..

How all of a sudden he would say, "You are fat but you are too cute" and make me smile..
How he would say "we are actually twins but I was born 7 years late :D "

How today he is inches taller to me and teases me "you look like my younger sis."

After all these years, its my time to show off to the world that I have such an awesome bro :D :D and because I m not alone...

                                           clicked on a rakshabandhan some years back.

      because no matter how crowded the world, I will always squeeze in to make space for you..

no matter how tall you become you will always be a kid brother :D :D

Have a great time folks..