Read first part,Second Part and Third part before reading this...
3/9/2010
Dear Diary,
Why is that we come into this world due to somebody else's wish ? Why do we get so entangled in relations that we cant even leave this world on our own will?
Yesterday I was so determined to put an end to this suffering. I cried through the night.. Staining my pillow with tears.. Every moment I had flashbacks of that betrayal.. I wanted to give up my life today.. I dressed up for college.. 8.04 fast train... crowded.. just slipping down my hand..no one would know if I died in an accident or committed suicide..
I looked one last time at my room.. My sister was still sleeping.. I hugged her and gave her a peck on her cheek.. She sleepily hugged me back.. Mom and Dad were getting ready for office too.. Dad was singing happily as he always does after coming from the morning walk.. Mom was busy with her multitasking but she didn't miss calling me out ,"Beta you took lunch na?" ..I had a lump in my throat which I gulped down.. I would never be here again... I walked out just when the intercom rang.. It was the watchman asking for my Dad.. I went down while my dad talked over the phone..
Half way down I remembered I left you back at home.. I came to fetch you back.. The atmosphere at home was silent.. Mom let out sighs..Dad was tense.. My sister had woken up..
"What happened Ma? I asked... She didn't say anything..
My Dad told that the girl in the flat below ours had committed suicide.. Being the chairman of the committee of our building Dad was informed first of the tragedy. It was blow to us. She was an introvert. Hardly ever established any conversation.. Once or twice we had talked .Even then she seemed depressed but then we never thought she had any major problems in her marriage.. No one ever heard any commotion from their flat.. Speculations were ripe that she took this drastic step because of marital problems and dowry harassment. It came as rude shock to one and all..
The girls parents came running on hearing the news.. They were inconsolable.. Her Mom fainted several times and Dad just couldn't take in the truth.. My Mom had tears in her eyes looking at them.. I cringed thinking all that happening to my mother as well..
Later in the evening while we sat speechlessly for snacks, Mom just said.."Today's generation has no courage. Even a little of trouble is enough to blow them up and drive them to suicide."
I blurted out "Mom we never know what the problem was and what that person was going through."
My father broke his silence,"Suicide is never an option. If you have problem,you have to deal with it.. Living through it is courage.. What would have happened if she had divorced? She would have to live alone right? But is this life so cheap that you give up life for anything? what if she had someone better in store for her? What could she lose if she had given life another chance? Now look at what she has done..She has killed her parents too with her.." Saying so he left the room.
If it hadn't been for you I would have never come back and witnessed what situation had downed upon my family just seeing someone else commit suicide.. If I had been a few minutes early they would have been living the same tragedy today..
No I won't end my life... I will work hard to get success in my career.. I will keep them happy.. Ricky will regret what he has done one day... He just doesn't deserved my life...
It is tough.. going back to that college..Facing him everyday.. Being mocked at by Laila.. Making friends again.. and letting the dark past behind.. But atleast I have my life.. I will make a fresh start....
Being above 18 and being an adult are two different things.. I m 20 but today I feel like a matured girl.. This transition has come in a very harsh way.. I have learnt the lesson in life early.. The distractions are tempting..The pressure to fit in so compelling.. The want to belong, to be accepted so desperate.. Being true to yourself is all that matters.. Keeping one's individuality intact is more important that fitting in somebody's life.. Wish I had known that earlier.. A lot could have been averted...
"YOU CAN BE DIFFERENT, BUT YOU HAVE TO BE YOU!!!"
3/9/2010
Dear Diary,
Why is that we come into this world due to somebody else's wish ? Why do we get so entangled in relations that we cant even leave this world on our own will?
Yesterday I was so determined to put an end to this suffering. I cried through the night.. Staining my pillow with tears.. Every moment I had flashbacks of that betrayal.. I wanted to give up my life today.. I dressed up for college.. 8.04 fast train... crowded.. just slipping down my hand..no one would know if I died in an accident or committed suicide..
I looked one last time at my room.. My sister was still sleeping.. I hugged her and gave her a peck on her cheek.. She sleepily hugged me back.. Mom and Dad were getting ready for office too.. Dad was singing happily as he always does after coming from the morning walk.. Mom was busy with her multitasking but she didn't miss calling me out ,"Beta you took lunch na?" ..I had a lump in my throat which I gulped down.. I would never be here again... I walked out just when the intercom rang.. It was the watchman asking for my Dad.. I went down while my dad talked over the phone..
Half way down I remembered I left you back at home.. I came to fetch you back.. The atmosphere at home was silent.. Mom let out sighs..Dad was tense.. My sister had woken up..
"What happened Ma? I asked... She didn't say anything..
My Dad told that the girl in the flat below ours had committed suicide.. Being the chairman of the committee of our building Dad was informed first of the tragedy. It was blow to us. She was an introvert. Hardly ever established any conversation.. Once or twice we had talked .Even then she seemed depressed but then we never thought she had any major problems in her marriage.. No one ever heard any commotion from their flat.. Speculations were ripe that she took this drastic step because of marital problems and dowry harassment. It came as rude shock to one and all..
The girls parents came running on hearing the news.. They were inconsolable.. Her Mom fainted several times and Dad just couldn't take in the truth.. My Mom had tears in her eyes looking at them.. I cringed thinking all that happening to my mother as well..
Later in the evening while we sat speechlessly for snacks, Mom just said.."Today's generation has no courage. Even a little of trouble is enough to blow them up and drive them to suicide."
I blurted out "Mom we never know what the problem was and what that person was going through."
My father broke his silence,"Suicide is never an option. If you have problem,you have to deal with it.. Living through it is courage.. What would have happened if she had divorced? She would have to live alone right? But is this life so cheap that you give up life for anything? what if she had someone better in store for her? What could she lose if she had given life another chance? Now look at what she has done..She has killed her parents too with her.." Saying so he left the room.
If it hadn't been for you I would have never come back and witnessed what situation had downed upon my family just seeing someone else commit suicide.. If I had been a few minutes early they would have been living the same tragedy today..
No I won't end my life... I will work hard to get success in my career.. I will keep them happy.. Ricky will regret what he has done one day... He just doesn't deserved my life...
It is tough.. going back to that college..Facing him everyday.. Being mocked at by Laila.. Making friends again.. and letting the dark past behind.. But atleast I have my life.. I will make a fresh start....
Being above 18 and being an adult are two different things.. I m 20 but today I feel like a matured girl.. This transition has come in a very harsh way.. I have learnt the lesson in life early.. The distractions are tempting..The pressure to fit in so compelling.. The want to belong, to be accepted so desperate.. Being true to yourself is all that matters.. Keeping one's individuality intact is more important that fitting in somebody's life.. Wish I had known that earlier.. A lot could have been averted...
"YOU CAN BE DIFFERENT, BUT YOU HAVE TO BE YOU!!!"
5 comments:
this was good and superb thing...like this part most
@Mystical Skeptical Me : thank you so much for the appreciation!
@Chirag : I know the last 3 parts were slow but it was essential to the plot.. Glad u liked it:)
very well-written.....!!!!
the girl's courage is something that must be applauded for...
Keep writing...!!!
Read all for in their chronological order...
beautifully woven story and its quite common these days. The first three parts of the story. It happened in a very short span of time. But then, youth knows no bounds when the hormones are running aplenty, its only through patience that we can avert such tough situations.
Overall, a nice story.
Cheers,
Blasphemous Aesthete
ok the comments after this are deleted due to some blogger problems.. anyway
@Mystical Skeptical Me :thank you so much!! I appreciate the compliment..
@chirag:glad u liked it..the last 3 parts had to be slow so that the end is meaningful..
@Manasi: thank you sooo much..
@Blasphemous Aesthete: thank you... the story is a reality woven into fictitious events... the youth is all about hormones but there has to be a ground check ..isn't it?
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