Tuesday, April 3, 2012

When rats become Yoga teachers..

               Last week I joined the yoga class. This is my second attempt. I had joined four years back, reduced a couple of kgs and gorged some more and later put on double of it :P  This time I was advised by my family physician to join yoga. The idea was to reduce stress and anger management. For those who don't know- I managed to raise my blood pressure so much that the doctor and my parents worried I will break down and the very next day I showed the perfect mercury level :P
               Because of my haywire schedule I have no fixed timings for yoga. I enter into any random batch as I please. The first day I went into early morning 6.30 batch. This batch is packed with aunties. Salwar kameez wearing fat aunties. First time in years I felt thin :D :D One of them even remarked that she wants to get to my size.. Ahaa!! The joys of getting that comment :D :D  As for the stress issues- the yoga tires me so much that I have no energy left to show my anger or take any other stress.. World peace :D
               After half an hour of twisting and turning our muscles, doing that suryanamaskar that leaves us gasping for breath, the shavasan seems like the bestttt part of yoga. The driving energy for those suryanamaskars is the awaiting shavasan.
       On the second day, while I was lying on the floor trying to restore my heartbeat to normal, suddenly a loud shriek from the lady next to me shook me. In a matter of seconds the entire group was jumping around. I was too lazy to get up but the noise brought the dead me back to life. The entire hullabaloo was over a family of rats that lived in the yoga class. 
       Apparently the yoga class was their bedroom :D These rats stayed put in the neighboring kirane ka dukaan  (grocery store) and fattened up on the food there during the day. They are 4 fat rats. 2 stay below the desktop drawer (yes the yoga class doubles up as a nursery class during the afternoon) and two stay behind the door painted with tortoise and hare wala story. Intelligent choice the rats have. 
       The rats decided to meet each other while the ladies screamed away in terror. What is it that makes women give that "EEEEEEEEEEEEek" "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" even though the poor rats have been considerate enough and were crossing the distance from the sides? They are not like those mindless cockroaches which get inside anywhere! 
        Since the day the rats made themselves appear, the aunties have been severely terrorized. A few have shifted their batch to the afternoon when the rats go for their meals. Few have changed their position and stand on the opposite side from where the rats travel. While the rest continue to create a ruckus everyday. 
       A little noise from behind the painted door and there is a change in alignment of all aunties. While the instructor croons, "Relaaaaaaaaaaax ho kar saas lijiye" the aunties are constantly panting. Any asan done with closed eyes is blantantly not done :P Shavasan has been dreaded.

          Today I went in a little late to see that the entire class was full. Kya baat hai! I thought they must have got rid of the rats in the  last 3 days when I had been busy and attended  the last batch of the day. I didn't notice that the place next to the door was deliberately kept vacant and stood there. 
          While I was doing the butterfly yogasan, a small rat passed from right below my thighs while my thighs were up. I swear it would have been crushed if I had brought my thigh down. Thunder thighs I have :P 
                                                     I m  nowhere close to this :P 

             What followed was aunties rushing all over the place. I sat there patiently and went on to the next pose. The rats decided to have a gala time today and the entire 1 hour they kept going to and fro drawing hysterical noises from the poor aunties and a few young girls who had come today. I bet they are not coming tomorrow. The rats have made them do more exercise than the yoga instructor  :D :D Aur rakho darwazewaala position khaali :P 
             While leaving they asked the instruction a shift in their batch. The funny thing is no amount of rodent control will help as these smart fellows are never around during the day. so chuhe maarne ki dawa is out of question as the nursery kids are close by. Like everything, Adjust kar lo :P 

P.S: In the batch next to mine, 3 fat girls come for yoga.. I feel soo happy to see them! I want a picture with them.. :D Evil I know.
P.P.S: Of the many things I can do, this makes me proud.. I feel like an elastic when I do this :D :D 


Atrocious Scribblings said...

If anything I reckon the rats are a value addition to your yoga session - they make you alert of your surroundings which you might otherwise even dread considering being caught up in the numerous painful asana's.

Funny One. Keep 'em coming.

Cheers :)

CD!!! said...

haha....Hilarious! The rats made you guys do more yoga than the trainer!

Meety said...

Ah rats... I find them spooky.. as for the picture with the fat girls.. well.. I don't find that evil.. I in fact did that once to show my mother how thin her daughter is as compared to the others fat girls besides her..... ;-)

icyhighs said...

I'm with the women-folk on this one. Rats are plain scary!

Suruchi said...

Haha-hilarious! The workout areas are such pleasure grounds for extracting fun though personally I always thought yoga was slow and boring!

I hope you get better results:-)
And that part about cockroaches-I know right! :-)

rc said...

Hilarious! :D the rats wil be pleased to knw dat some1 is evening blogging about them :P lol

Arch said...

This is funny, and I cant believe you continued doing yoga with rats around. Brave girl!

♫♪♥PhilO♥♪♫ said...

Haha this was so funny!
Bet you feel awesome when you see bulging people around you :P

Roohani said...

I m a lazy one too. I know each yoga but I have never ever done it agin after I learned!

Haddock said...

Interesting read.
But all said and done, Yoga is the best form of exercise. Nothing like keeping the body flexible (and keeping ailments at bay)