An untold love story

                  "Ishq hota nahi sabhi k liye... ishq hota nahi sabhi k liye..

                   ye bana hai.. ye bana hai..kisi kisi k liye..."

  

       A car drove into the lonely pathway leading to Springfield villa. The house wore its usual calm appearance. A few eyes peeped from their windows across the house. In this small town nothing remained a secret. They saw a lady get down from the Santro. She signalled the chauffeur to leave. The woman looked well into her forties. Her hair neatly clubbed into a high bun. Her eyegear not giving a hint of the nostalgic tears  on the verge of breaking out. Her scarlet red colored lips gave a little quiver and she quickly bit them. She looked around and saw a few curtains closing tight. Perhaps the town was on its toes to know the best kept secret of their surrounding. 

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As she entered the compound, subconciously she was the 16 year old who first entered this villa. She felt the same nervousness and same doubts as she was now sensing to build up in her. She knocked the bell at the door. It was still the same.. There was no electric bell yet.. It felt like she was entering some temple..

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She rang the bell. She almost thought a young, arrogant bastard with deep brown eyes would yell back at her, "What the hell are you doing here?" and she would look like a complete idiot staring hard at this handsome lad. He looked straight out of the mills and boons that she had grown up reading.. But that was 25 years ago..

The door took time to open. A tired pair of eyes peeped out. A smile reached her eyes when she saw that familiar face. He must be now about 60 years old but Anthony uncle still looked the same benevolent figure she had come to like.  

"Do you recognise me Anthony uncle?" she asked lovingly.

He strained his eyes. She took out her eyegear and it took him less than a second to call out,

"Rhea beta! So unexpected to see you! Where were you all these years? Did you forget me?" his eyes moistened.

"No Uncle, I didn't forget you even for a moment.. I missed the muffins you made almost every day.." she smiled.

"Come in my child.. Baba has gone to the market. You make yourself comfortable while I get started to make you your favorite muffins." 

She entered inside the house that she once thought she will live forever in.. How naive that dream had been! 

Everything looked the same.. untouched by time.. She filled her heart with the sight of this place.. She ran her fingers through the paintings.. 

Tears brimmed her eyes and she couldn't hold them back now.. 

Anthony uncle brought her a glass of juice. He had been crying as well, she could tell that. 

"Rhea beta, come with me."

Rhea entered the room behind uncle. The room which held ghosts of her dreams now. The room which saw her ecstatic union with her love.. The  room which heard their laughter, their tears, their anger.. The room was still the same.. White colored with no hint of any other color. She had once decorated this room with flowers of every color possible.. that day when she had given him everything of herself..

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Anthony uncle opened the drawer.. The only black drawer in that room to reveal a book... 

"You need to read this Rhea..baba wrote this.. He will never show you this.. Read it before he comes.." 

She wondered "Can he write?" .. What could this possibly be about? He hated to read love stories or watch love stories then why write one? Who could it be about? Why should she read? He had been so fiercely protective about his personal space.. He would probably strangulate her if she invaded his privacy this way.. She had always been terrified of his anger.. 

She decided she won't read it no matter how compelling she found it.. 

She had become oblivious to Anthony uncle who left with a faint smile, as she was turning the pages..

The first page read,

Between you and me.. An untold love story...

To be continued.

Witnessing a change.. Part 4

Read first part,Second Part and Third part before reading this...
3/9/2010
Dear Diary,
             Why is that we come into this world due to somebody else's wish ? Why do we get so entangled in relations that we cant even leave this world on our own will?
             Yesterday I was so determined to put an end to this suffering. I cried through the night.. Staining my pillow with tears.. Every moment I had flashbacks of that betrayal.. I wanted to give up my life today.. I dressed up for college.. 8.04 fast train... crowded.. just slipping down my hand..no one would know if I died in an accident or committed suicide..
             I looked one last time at my room.. My sister was still sleeping.. I hugged her and gave her a peck on her cheek.. She sleepily hugged me back.. Mom and Dad were getting ready for office too.. Dad was singing happily as he always does after coming from the morning walk.. Mom was busy with her multitasking but she didn't miss calling me out ,"Beta you took lunch na?" ..I had a  lump in my throat which I gulped down.. I would never be here again... I walked out just when the intercom rang.. It was the watchman asking for my Dad.. I went down while my dad talked over the phone..
             Half way down I remembered I left you back at home.. I came to fetch you back.. The atmosphere at home was silent.. Mom let out sighs..Dad was tense.. My sister had woken up..
             "What happened Ma? I asked... She didn't say anything..
My Dad told that the girl in the flat below ours had committed suicide.. Being the chairman of the committee of our building Dad was informed first of the tragedy. It was blow to us. She was an introvert. Hardly ever established any conversation.. Once or twice we had talked .Even then she seemed depressed but then we never thought she had any major problems in her marriage.. No one ever heard any commotion from their flat.. Speculations were ripe that she took this drastic step because of marital problems and dowry harassment. It came as rude shock to one and all..
             The girls parents came running on hearing the news.. They were inconsolable.. Her Mom fainted several times and Dad just couldn't take in the truth.. My Mom had tears in her eyes looking at them.. I cringed thinking all that happening to my mother as well..
              Later in the evening while we sat speechlessly for snacks, Mom just said.."Today's generation has no courage. Even a little of trouble is enough to blow them up and drive them to suicide."
              I blurted out "Mom we never know what the problem was and what that person was going through."
My father broke his silence,"Suicide is never an option. If you have problem,you have to deal with it.. Living through it is courage.. What would have happened if she had divorced? She would have to live alone right? But is this life so cheap that you give up life for anything? what if she had someone better in store for her? What could she lose if she had given life another chance? Now look at what she has done..She has killed her parents too with her.." Saying so he left the room.
              If it hadn't been for you I would have never come back and witnessed what situation had downed upon my family just seeing someone else commit suicide.. If I had been a few minutes early they would have been living the same tragedy today..
             No I won't end my life... I will work hard to get success in my career.. I will keep them happy.. Ricky will regret what he has done one day... He just doesn't deserved my life...
             It is tough.. going back to that college..Facing him everyday.. Being mocked at by Laila.. Making friends again.. and letting the dark past behind.. But atleast I have my life.. I will make a fresh start....
             Being above 18 and being an adult are two different things.. I m 20 but today I feel like a matured girl.. This transition has come in a very harsh way.. I have learnt the lesson in life early.. The distractions are tempting..The pressure to fit in so compelling.. The want to belong, to be accepted so desperate.. Being true to yourself is all that matters.. Keeping one's individuality intact is more important that fitting in somebody's life.. Wish I had known that earlier.. A lot could have been averted...

"YOU CAN BE DIFFERENT, BUT YOU HAVE TO BE YOU!!!"

Witnessing a change.. Part 3

Read First Part and Second Part before reading this..
2/9/2010
Dear Diary..
           I ruined my life..with my own hands..
I can't confide in anyone else but you.. Everyone has abandoned me. I can't tell my friends because against their warnings I did what I pleased.. My parents would die of shame.. Anyway telling them isn't an option anyway.. who do I blame for what went wrong...
           My indecision and my weakness doomed me.. Ricky was all I saw.. I lost my judgement.. My better senses.. and my dignity..
           Everyone is doing it, so what? I didn't want to lose him... But lose what? He was never mine..
Looking back I curse the  night when I called him home.. I betrayed my parents in their absence.. It was raining outside when we both dropped into my place... We were drenched... I should have known it then.. But I was a fool blinded by love...
           Never realised when that touch, that kiss which lingered thirstily on my lips, those desperate sighs progressed to something more.. something forbidden.. something which should ideally have been sacred within the confines of a secure marriage.. but it was everything but that... I was hit by a tornado.. It was furious.. Hungry.. Eating me by pieces... till every little part of me was defeated.. It left me vain.. I was a bundle of nerves.. Fear and the lurking darkness of the inner being within me..
           He kept saying, "baby its alright.. you are in love aren't you.. ?" ... "yes" I said.. It stopped raining when he went back home.... I should have never taken that step..
           When all this happened I wasn't so negative about it.. I was living in the realm  that was far beyond what is the reality.. I thought I m giving myself to the guy I love.. We are both adults.. What could be so wrong.. Everything was wrong.
           The next day he didn't come to college.. I kept calling him.. He didn't answer.. The next few days we hung out but he was never the same Ricky I came to love.. He was just somewhere else... in another dimension.. I thought he too is feeling uncomfortable..
           Then I saw him.. He was with Laila.. Holding hands..hugging.. and hi-fying his friends.. He looked happy.. I approached him.. I could see he was trying to avoid me.. He came over to me and asked me to go home, he wouldn't be accompanying me.. I asked him why he was being so indifferent to me.. The pat reply was "You don't need to cling to me all the time, just because we have made out"... That was soo rude..
           I pleaded him to atleast tell me what I had done wrong.. He just kept silent.. I was at complete end of my wits. But my world came crashing down when he said he didn't want to be with me anymore.. Reason? I m too boring!! I don't let him be!
           Why did he do this to me? what had I not done to please him.. He says I enjoyed it as much as him and I don't need to nag him about it.. Maybe I always was a game for him.. He was not the right guy.. Playboy.. How right my friends were.....
           I can't live with this shame.. I want to end this pathetic life of mine.. I have thought enough about it, no man shall ever take advantage of me.. I just want to die... Tomorrow will be the last day of my life...

P.S To be continued...