Sunday, May 25, 2014


 The kind of love that makes you give up everything, only to realize what you truly want.
 The kind of love that plunges you down the valley of depression, only to see the rebirth of hope.
 The kind of love that drains the life out of you, only to run passion through your veins.
 The kind of love that defeats you, only to make you stronger
 IT was that kind of love and a little more.
 And yet she lost herself to it, only to find a little more of herself..

  She wrote the status and clicked on post. She was in the happiest phase of her life. She had been through a lot in the last 7 years, and now life was finally smiling benevolently on her. She had, at one point of time, given up hope of happiness from relationships. She dreaded to trust anyone. It wasn't like she had a huge group of friends. She had always restricted her inner circle to a handful of people. She was cordial and helpful but when it came to depending on anyone, she took a few steps back. Life had taught her a harsh lesson. She wouldn't risk placing herself at the mercy of another person. She wouldn't ever give anyone the licence to destroy her peace. Sometimes, one person is enough to teach you all the lessons of life and for her, it had been her best friend.

The last time she met her, she had freed herself from all her feelings. No more would she wonder what went wrong. No more would she feel incompetent to handle friendships. No more would she feel that pain. She had played the scene so many times in her mind. It was a rehearsal that kept revising every time she learnt something new. When she had finally met her once 'best friend', she had melted. She had wanted to go back to the old times. She wanted nothing more than having a 'best friend'. How lucky are the people who can claim that they have a best friend! 

Today, as she got so many likes and comments on her status, she was suddenly filled with a void. This was not how she had once dreamed of her life. Her life had always included her best friend. How she had imagined that her best friend would be by her side when she got married! Human bonds are so fragile and yet the memories are so relentless. They would keep coming back, long after you decide to dump them. For 7 years she had managed to live without pouring out her feelings to anyone. Why did she long for a quite evening on the terrace with her best friend? Why did she think of those long walks they had, discussing life's weird questions? Perhaps there was something that she couldn't replace nor forget.

In a forlorn cyber cafe, she read the status and smiled. "Always the lucky one," she thought to herself. She wondered if she missed her. She had done her wrong and no amount of regret would ever do her right. What had possessed her to feel animosity with her? What had made her want to hurt her best friend so much? She had known it all along that she would have been hurt but the degree of damage that she had done was unimaginable for her. The last time she met her, her words had been a tight slap on her face. Every word filled with emotion had been a whip on her heart. Her own problems and insecurities had seemed trivial in front of the wound that her friend had so openly shown her. But then, emotions and words had always been her forte. She, on her part, had been tongue tied and confused. She had left her side and life had spiraled down ever since. 

They had been best of friends. She had felt that life had always been a little more favorable to her best friend. She was the one who had to struggle for everything while it came easy to her friend. Her friend got good grades without much efforts because she had an higher aptitude, while she toiled day and night to get a distinction. They both read a lot and yet the gift of words was with her friend. No matter how much she read, they wouldn't come to her. It was like magic. Her friend could conjure words like magic. She had the right words for every occasion. She called on words like they were her servants. She attracted people with the way she talked. It had been genuine admiration at first, which turned bitter with every passing day. Her friend hadn't been very attractive and yet when she fell in love, the object of her affections felt equally attracted to her. She had been happy for her friend but had felt alone. What was it about her? What was the magic that she possessed? 

When it had gotten too much for her to bear, she had withdrawn. The more she pushed her away, the closer she tried to come. She was suffocated and irritated and then one fine day, she simply broke all ties with her. With that, the magic ended. She was deshielded right then, but never realized. It was a downhill path from there. From flunking her year at college to falling in the trap of online chats. She made one mistake after the other. Without giving it a thought, she befriended a boy from another community. Without thinking of the consequences, she went ahead with dating him because he was the first person to show an interest. Just like that she ended up marrying him. Life had turned topsy-turvy. Who was to guess that she would one day be living in such poverty? Who was to ever imagine that she would have to face such adversities to feed herself two meals a day? 

"It's close to one hour, do you want to extend your session?" the bored owner of the cafe asked. 
"No," she answered and logged off.  The monthly visit to cyber cafe was a luxury she allowed herself. 
It had dawned on her what the magic was. The magic was love. The magic was friendship. How lucky she had been to have a best friend! If only she had not parted her ways, she would have been basking in that magic. Her friend attracted people not because she was good looking or had the gift of words, but because she loved a lot. Her last meeting had made her think. Had she hurt her so much that she had forgotten her magic? Perhaps not. She still loved and trusted at least one person. Her status had made that apparent. 

Indeed, the magic was love. Even after knowing everything, her friend had tried to call her back. She wanted her to go back to the magical world of love. She wanted her to go back to her parents and start afresh. She wanted to listen to her friend, but the magic was lost on her. Things were much more complicated and beyond her control. The best thing that she could do was to stay away from her best friend. Time washes away the hurt, but the memories stay on and in such memories, the magic lives on. As if by magic, she felt somewhere that her friend was missing her too. 

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

Monday, May 19, 2014


                When I started this blog, I had no great aspirations about the blog or my future as a writer. It was just a corner where I could explore my imaginations and play with words. Even then I had been clear of one thing- this blog would be largely about creative work than my own outbursts or views. It had been a deliberate move to keep away the real me while I step into multiple lives and characters.

                I think I owe it to the readers who have constantly encouraged me to keep writing. I think the best people I could turn to would be the ones who know my writing and who can help me overcome this state of inertia. I have this intense urge to write. To write something that relieves me. I have been struggling with ideas and nothing is more frustrating than not being in sync with your most prized possession. Maybe I m overworking myself. Maybe I m looking for an inspiration. What I need right now is an insightful comment or suggestion about how to tackle this. SOS!

               On the other side of life, I m done with my final year. All four  years of it for God knows what purpose! Taking life as it comes, I will start training with TCS today for no pay :( The whole month is going to drag on and the only solace I seek is blogging.