Wednesday, May 20, 2015

My mother, my expert

              I was a young girl awestruck by glamour. Spending hours in front of the idiot box had influenced me in a big way. I knew who was dating whom and what celebrities did to while away their time. On  a usual Sunday morning, while I was glued to a music video, my mother switched the TV off. She was getting wary of my vain interests. She told me to go read the newspaper. I obeyed her and went straight to the page 3. Unable to keep the gossip to myself, I read it aloud to her. It annoyed her no end! The very next day she brought home a Tinkle book.

              I had hardly read any book till then. Slowly I began enjoying reading the tales of Shikari Shambu, the craziness of Supandi and this was just the beginning of a lifetime hobby. A few books later, I took to writing. I don't know when and how it came to me, but I began penning poems, essays all by myself. It gave me a new sense of accomplishment. I was doing what no one else was doing in my class. My essays came into the notice of my teachers and they praised me for it, encouraging it even more. I had decided right then that I wanted nothing more to do with academics, I just wanted to write. I voiced this idea to my mother and like always, she gave me a reality check.
              My mother explained to me why it was not a great idea to ignore education. She told me about authors who write just medical stories, some who write just dreamy romance, some who write books only for a mature audience. I needed to learn more, see more and be more to write something that people would read. She began asking me if  I knew the Mahabharata. I had a rough idea from what I had seen on SONY TV. She narrated the first chapter of Mahabharata and next day I had a children's Mahabharata to read. The story was engaging and the plots and characters kept me at the edge until I finished the whole book. It was then that I learnt the greatness of this story. It applies to every generation, every family and every person. To write a tale like that was a genius! I realised I knew hardly anything to write! From then on, I have read and read and hungrily lived on a staple of books. That is the best gift my mother has given me. The gift of a hobby that will last me a lifetime. That will never keep me lonely. That will never let me be at loss for words or ideas. That has given me a passion to write. My mother used her expertise to channel my talent in the right direction. She knew it before me that it was the people and stories that kept me amused and she found the right medium to tap that interest.
collection that keeps growing

             My mother has always been the inducer to my interests. Like the first time I had to draw an elephant, my mother held my hand and traced the outline of the elephant. She taught me how to draw the head first and continue all the way to tusk and then carry the same forward to outline the legs of the elephant. I practiced it so many times that in the end, I could draw a perfect elephant, much to the delight of my drawing teacher.
                                              image courtesy-

            My mother taught me how to draw a proper seven dotted rangoli while I was struggling with the rangoli colors. I had drawn a huge lotus that I was having a hard time filling with colors. Exhausted, I had swept the whole thing off and sat in disappointment. I was very young and she had told me that little girls don't draw rangoli, but I had been adamant and made her purchase the colors anyway. She had sat by my side and helped me make a neat rangoli. Year by year, I grew better at it and could make a full rangoli with vibrant colors and she would be mighty proud of it!
what I can draw now

           Being a working mother is no easy task and yet she was always there for me. Be it teaching me to make a round chapati or how to stitch, she taught me all that would make me self reliant. If I ever came down with the slightest of fever, she would check my temperature multiple times through the night. She did not think twice before taking a leave if I was not keeping well but slogged anyway even when she was not in the fittest form. She knows the treatment to every ailment that I go through. Be it a cold that will never go away without antibiotics or plain moodiness that goes away with good food. Be it my stubbornness that she would melt away with reason and shopping or pampering me with foot wear. She knows how I work.

          Growing up, I never really bought any cosmetics. My mother always made it a point replenish the lipsticks, the nail paints, the perfumes. She got me a purple kajal when it came in fashion, a green nailpaint because its the "in" thing, neck piece that she felt would go very well with my dress. I never really had to think about any of this stuff. She is an expert when it comes to what I should wear.

         She surprised me with the large teddy bear on my birthday. It was never around when I was a kid but when I saw it at a shop, I kept eyeing it. I was 21 at that time and yet she thought of gifting it to me just because I never had it! Mothers and their perpetual need to fulfill our wishes!

         When I decided on the man I want to marry, she was the one who supported me. Knowing fully well how temperamental I am, she still trusted my decision. When the time came, she took the lead in all preparations. I am so proud to be a daughter to such wonderful parents who gave me the wedding of my dreams. It was her goodwill that made it all possible.

         Every Saturday and Sunday of the 4 months before the wedding, she ran around with me, shopping and arranging. From the kind of dresses, to the silk sarees, to the lighter sarees for casual events, to the lehenga, to the footwear for all occasions, her list was ever growing. At times, I would be overwhelmed with her desire to give me everything that I ever wanted. She left no thing that I would want and not get. Selecting the right kind of jewellery was never my thing, it was she who made sure I had all that was needed. She came up with innovative ideas to deck me up for the big day. The parlor treatments, the make up, she had a plan for everything. The kind of expertise that a girl needs on her wedding can be provided by no one but her mother. A woman truly understands the importance of her  mother at the time of her wedding. No time before that I had felt such an acute need of my mother and no other time had I cried so hard than the time I was leaving her back.

        Every other day, I call her up to ask her for a recipe or what to do with something I have no idea about. I tell her I got drenched or I have a bad stomach, and she keeps talking at length on how I am careless and I don't listen about not doing things the way I do and later keeps checking on how I am doing, suggesting medicines. Recently I met my mother at my native place. It was not pre planned and last minute we decided to be there. On the way I thought if I had known before I could have asked her to get the thin, sharp knife that we got in our neighborhood. I met her and voila! She had brought the knife even at the last minute although it had been months since I had said I needed it. The best part about our relation is that, it works on Telepathy! I have seldom had to ask for anything from her. She has always known what I need. In that way, I have always depended on her to know what I need.  Yes, I am still reliant on her because she taught me everything but to live without her expertise!


Anita Jeyan Sandeep said...

And I say your Mom is very lucky to have you !

maithili said...

I do hope I live up to it enough :) I m already flattered you think so :)

maithili said...

I do hope I live up to it enough :) I m already flattered you think so :)

maithili said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
abhinnav Aggarwal said...

Lovely and beautiful luxury bed linen, I love them...

abhinnav Aggarwal said...

Lovely and beautiful luxury bed linen, I love them...

Natasha Borah Khan said...

Mothers and daughters have the most amazing relationship, don't they!
I have nominated you to 'Share Love' at Points To Ponder