Kiss me not

             

            Ting Tong, the bell rang.
             Kunal was engrossed in the cricket match. "This better not be a salesman" he swore. He pulled himself up from the sofa. There was tap tap tapping on the door. "Wait a moment" he shouted.
             Screeeeeeeeeee the wooden door grumbled as he forced it open.

            "Payal!" he gasped. For a moment, he felt as if he was floating. She stood at his door, equally amused.
            "Kunal" she muttered finally, her lips quivering.
           
            She was dressed in a white salwar kameez, completely drenched. When he regained his senses, he ushered her in. She followed meekly.

            He switched off the television and went in to fetch a towel.
            "Here, dry yourself. You can use the room to your left" he said, handing her the towel.
            She went into the room. He stared at her back. Her clothes stuck to her skin, revealing her small clothes. He felt something stir in him. He brushed his thoughts aside.

             He set the coffee brewing and made a call to place order for lunch.
             Tring Tirrrrrrrrrring the phone rang but no one picked up until the last ring. He tried another service. They refused to give home delivery because of heavy rains.
             He raided the kitchen drawers and found a packet of Magi. "This would do" he thought.

             He went near the room.
             Clink, clink, clink, her metal bangles moved as she dried her hair. She had put her clothes to dry on the stand and was clad in his white kurta. His kurta covered her thighs but her legs were bare. He stood there staring, then she turned back and gave a naughty smile. As if she knew what was on his mind.

            "Sorry, my clothes were too wet to wear. Your night kurta was hanging by the door, as usual."
            "Oh!" was all he said.
                                                        

            They sat on the sofa with a cup of coffee and a bowl of Magi each. She curled up to one side. Her face was flushed pink with the hot bath.
            Pitter Patter the rain continued. Dark clouds gathered in the sky. It was going to rain all day.
         
            Doooooooom, the power gave out. They sat in silence, darkness enveloping them.

           "How did you come here?" He asked her.
           " I came to seek a shelter. I did not know its your house."
           " You stay close by?" he asked further.
           " Does it matter?" she countered.  He didn't reply.

           Slurrrrrrrrp he sucked the remnants of his Magi. She looked at him, irritated.
           "Tch, your old habits still remain" she remarked.
           " I never changed" he said bitterly.

             It hurt him to realize how much effect she still had on him. She sipped on her coffee lightly. Her hair, still damp, fell to her shoulders, wetting her delicate neck. Her slight frame lay propped up on the cushions of his sofa. Her slender fingers lay curled on the coffee cup. Every part of her evoked memories, lustful memories. Why must she make me so weak? he complained to himself.
             He bore hardly any resemblance to his former self. His two day stubble gave him a rough appearance. His once flat stomach, protruded a bit. He had put on more kilos. He wondered if she would even find him attractive now. How does that matter? She had once found him most handsome and yet dumped him.

           He was immersed in his thoughts when he felt her close to him. She hugged him from one side. He was befuddled. One thing led to other and he found himself in her.

                                         
           He lay staring at the ceiling. Her soft snores ringing in his ears.
           Tick Tock Tick of  the clock was the only sound in the room.

           He gathered his thoughts. No, he would not let her play with him again. She had once enticed  him and made him a slave of her charms. He would have given up anything to be with her. Yet she had left him in a lurch to go abroad for better opportunities. A clean break, that was what she had asked him. She had not even told him before boarding the flight. He wouldn't give her a chance to break him again. She would not influence him now. Still, a part of him knew, he already lost. She had just as easily tricked him into bed as she had entered his house.
       
         She stirred beside him. Nuzzling close, she whispered, " I had forgotten how good it was to be with you".
         "Are you married?" He found himself asking.
         "Yes."
         He was numb. They were only 21 when they were in a relationship. A decade had gone by. He had been occupied with his medical profession and was yet to get married, although his parents were looking for a match. She on the other hand was married and cheating!

        He felt sick of all that he had done. He went into the shower and hoped she would just disappear before he was out.
        He came out in his bathrobe.
        Tack, tack, tack her heels echoed from the hall. She was dressed up to leave.
     
       "I m leaving for now. I will back" she gave a twisted smile.
       "You won't be." He said firmly
       "Oh come on, don't act all righteous. You lie that you don't enjoy what I do to you."
       "I m not your slave. You cannot use me as you like" he raged.
     
        She walked towards him and undid the knot of his robe. She hugged him passionately. He had goosebumps all over.
        " I will be back" she kissed his ear lobe.
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        Screech... the car halted abruptly, a few feet away from the cliff. He stepped out and looked around. Heavy rains had discouraged tourists. He opened the car and pulled her out. He lifted her slim body and flung her down the cliff.

      " It was preordained. It was preordained". He kept telling himself. "She didn't have to find my house for shelter. She didn't have to torture me all over again. I didn't have to store the sedatives in the cupboard and inject her. I wouldn't have killed her. It was all preordained. I m free now"

       He went home and slumped on the sofa.
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      Thud. The door was broken by the policemen who accompanied his parents. The stench was overwhelming. He lay on the floor. Dead.

      He died of an overdose of his antidepressant medicines.

      His mother's shrieks were drowned by the weeeoooweeeooo of the ambulance.


                                                

     
         
                                              

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.
             

The God among us

      The concept of prayers and God has changed over time for me. We all start as unquestioning devotees and over the years continue to remain the same or we become critical. We get influenced by the thoughts we come across, the books we read, the people we meet and the situations we experience.

       Till I was 5 years old, I went to the temple daily. My grandparents would take me along with them and I would sit through their prayers and learnt to say my prayers. Sometimes my aunt would take me to the temple and after that she would treat me to kulfi. Late in the evening, father would come from work and carry me home. On our way from grandparents' house, we would pass by the Sai Baba temple. I would wiggle out of father's arms and bow in front of the idol and pray. I would tell Sai Baba to guard me always. I would then stretch my hand for the sweets that laid in front of the idol and the priest would indulge me with two. It became a routine for me. My prayers would include:
       Health for my grandparents
       Marriage for my aunt
       Money for my parents
       Intelligence for me
       At the end I would say, "You alone guard us".

      A couple of years after that, I had a younger brother who now added to my list. However, I no longer stayed with grandparents and the visit to temple became less frequent.
      The nearest temple from my house was a Hanuman temple. I would go there once in a while. In years to come, the temple was expanded illegally to include 3 more Gods. I began to go there more often. In my teenage years I would pray a lot to Goddess Durga. She symbolized strength and that was what I wanted the most.
      Every Friday I would visit the Goddess Durga temple which became a ritual with me and some of my relatives. Then started my 10th classes and I would accompany my friends every Tuesday to the self formed Ganesh Temple on the way home. By this time, I knew most of the prayers by heart.

      My relation with God hasn't been always of faith. I have been brought up in a house that prayed in every calamity, never once questioning the intentions of God.
      "Do whatever God brings into your mind", "God will do you good", "How did God give you the heart to do that?"- these are the phrases that I grew up hearing. Yet something changed.
      Something changed in the way I prayed. I have had instances where I have even questioned the presence of God, only to be rejuvenated with Faith. But I had stopped making so many visits to temples. I found solace in the God that resides within us. Among us. I did not need a temple to invoke the spiritual sense. I saw spirituality in giving up my seat for an old lady or accompanying an old woman who is afraid to use a lift. I did not need to offer flowers or sweets to visit my God. I would rather offer sweets to a child. I would never pray the whole day and abuse anyone who disturbs me. That is no prayer at all. Prayer is what comes from within you, without knowing any verse.

      Praying is welcoming God to dwell within . To help you overcome what, you think, you cannot. I still pray before going for an exam. If it is a difficult one, I tell my loved one to pray for me as well. So far it has always helped me. I pray for God to be with me when I have to face tough conditions. When the strength ebbs and when the world seems too unjust a place to be, I pray. It fills me with optimism. It fills me with hope.

    This Diwali, like so many others, I would make a Rangoli to welcome the Goddess. I would make imprints of her steps on the stairs. The house would be spic and span. The air filled with delicious aroma of the sweets my mother would specially make in turmeric leaves. The small temple in our house would be decorated with garlands and flowers from our plants. We would keep the offerings of fruits, sweets, new sari in front of the Goddess. As usual, there would be someone who misplaces the aarti book and we would all search for it. I would start the prayers while others would join in. The air would take the fragrance of the incense sticks and flowers to add to the ambiance of spirituality. In that one evening of prayers, we would all be together and send out a positive energy.
    This year my grandparents and aunt wouldn't be in Mumbai. They have shifted to the native last year. They too celebrated Diwali last year but the rituals there are different and they couldn't perform it the way they have been doing for years. The aarti books available were in native language which aunt couldn't read. Grandma kept whining about how they had to search for all the pooja accessories. The lakshmi pooja pack would just be the gift I could send across for them! We would all be together in our ritual, although we would be miles apart. Once they taught me to pray, I wish to give them the comfort to do the same.
 

     I pray for the streets to be safer.
     I pray for the justice with-held.
     I pray that innocence is never violated.
     I pray for the men who guard me while I pray.
     I pray for the maimed child I see on the bridge.
     I pray for the boy in desperate need of a job.
     I pray for the girl who fell off the train.
     I pray for the mother who lost her baby.
     I pray that the pot-bellied kid eats better.
   
     I pray for the trains to be little less crowded.
     I pray that we get a better crop this year.
     I pray that everyone gets a meal.
     I pray that every hand that can work, gets work.
   
    I pray that, Dear God, you alone guard us!


 
      

This post is part of a contest by  Cycle Puja Agarbathies

www.pureprayer.com

Jar of Sunshine- Part 5

              Sumitra had felt like a free bird when she had set foot in her village. She had breathed in the scents that she had grown up around and walked through the kaccha roads and fields. Her grandparents were a bit apprehensive but they tried to hide that and appeared glad to see her.
           
             Sumitra had rested her head in her grandmother's lap and wondered about her future. What would she do here that could ease their life? She had fallen asleep and for the first time in the last whole year, she had slept without a care. It had then come to her. She had woken up all of a sudden and told her grandmother. She would open a food service.

             With the small sum of money that Sunaina's father had lent her, she rented the small worn down shop near the market. Next she spread the word that she would open a meal service. For trial she started out with afternoon meals. She gathered that a lot of daily wagers and workers in the market shop would like to eat a different variety of food at a lower price. At the same time, the small offices in the market had people who would like a nice home cooked meal served hot.

            IT had been a success. She had also initiated her neighbors into her business. They sold their fresh field produce and milk to her. She started growing a few vegetables in her grandparent's backyard. Slowly and steadily, the profits grew and she bought a bigger place on rent. She hired help as the customers grew. Some people frowned at her for being a young girl and running a hotel business, but she took it in her stride.

          On her 17th birthday, she had a proper hotel, a house that had all the amenities and happy grandparents. It was the year she met Ram. He had seen her at her hotel and fallen in love with her beauty. When he came to know all about her from the village folks, he had made his mind to marry her. It was tough to make her agree but he had won her heart. Ram was an orphan and himself a small hotelier in another city. He had a few relatives in the village who took the proposal to Sumitra's grandparents. Within the year, they were married.

        Life changed for the best in years to come. She had sold her hotel and brought her grandparents with her. Ram had taken good care of them. His business prospered and they moved to a big villa with servants at their beck and call. Sumitra had all the comforts of life but her sunshine was her husband. He loved her deeply and always sought her advice in important matters. He supported her decisions and held her hand through them. In years to come, they had become inseparable. The years only added to their companionship. He had accepted her background and respected her for all that she had achieved. She had given her heart and soul to the man who stood by her through thick and thin.
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       Ram took a sharp turn. They were nearing Anuya nivas. Sumitra did not know what she would find there.
      They got out of the car. The house wore a deserted look. The climbers grew on the window. Pigeons sat on the sill. The steps were broken. They entered the compound. An old lady peeked from the door next to Anuya nivas.
      "Why have you come here? Didn't you have enough last year?" she asked her.

     How could she forget! Anuya and Sumitra had exchanged numbers. Out of the blue, Anuya had told her she was getting married soon. It had not occured to Sumitra to ask about her marriage. Anuya was 36 and Sumitra was 46 with two sons aged 20 and 23.  Anuya went on to talk to someone else.

    Sunaina, who had met Sumitra earlier, grabbed her by the arm.
  " Don't believe what she says. She's been talking like that for a few years now." She had whispered.
  "Like what?" Sumitra had asked incredulously.
  " I shouldn't be saying this, Anuya has lost her mind. That entire family is doomed. Ishwar Narayan lost his job when the company closed down in 1994. He has been doing odd jobs since then. Anuya tried her hand at jobs but failure to find a match for her was depressing her. That sister of hers has had a chain of affairs.We stopped counting how many! The boy was good but he too ended up becoming a drunkard. One might say years of curses have manifested but Anuya is a sad sight."

   Sumitra was dumbstruck with what Sunaina revealed. She had never imagined Anuya to have met this fate. She had loved Anuya the best.

   "Sumitra, come its time to go to the temple." Anuya had grabbed her hand.
   "Anuya, wait." She had freed herself uneasily.
   " There is no one who is marrying you." Rukmini appeared from  nowhere. She had become more bitter with time Sumitra thought.
    "I m telling you I m getting married you stupid woman. Why can't you see me happy" She had become violent and reached for a knife that was laying with fruits. There was a chaos as people hurried with fear. Anuya had slashed her wrist. It was as if Sumitra had come to the funeral of two people she knew the best from this city.

     Ishwar Narayan was too proud to admit that his beloved daughter needed medical help. Rukmini had turned a ghost of herself. Her sparse hair, skin clinging to her bones and hollow eyes had made Sumitra pity her. Anuya had recuperated from the wounds and doctors had suggested she be given psychiatric help. Ishwar Narayan had looked helpless and broken down. He had no money to afford such care.

    Anuya was nowhere close. Sumitra caught hold of a boy in the locality and told him to call Ishwar Narayan who stayed in a small rented house at a distance. Ram and Sumitra went to the Ganesh temple. They couldn't find her even there.

    "Are you searching for me" said a voice she recognized too well.
    "Anuya, how did you come here?" Sumitra asked scared to see her. Her hair was a mess and she wore a blue hospital gown.
    " It is my marriage today."
     She looked at Ram for some help but he looked clueless as well. They tried to keep her off the edge of the temple which had a deep mangrove on the other side.

     Rukmini and Ishwar Narayan reached the temple and were shocked to see their daughter. For a moment they thought Anuya had become well looking at her behavior but her garb said otherwise. Ram had offered to help to get Anuya good care. She had somehow escaped and still had Sumitra's contact number.
   
    The sight of her parents bewildered Anuya. She became violent again. Not heeding to anything they said, she jumped off the edge. Amid the shouts of all, Sumitra turned mute with fear.  

    Sumitra and Ram could do nothing.

    Ishwar Narayan and Rukmini got the worst punishment ever any parent could get. Their daughter committed suicide in front of their eyes.

    Ram and Sumitra returned home late that night. Anuya's body was found and she was cremated.

    Sumitra reclined on the bed, her head heavy with the events that had unfolded.
    "No one can beat Karma Sumitra. Anuya got the returns of her parents' karma."
    " I told her about the jar of sunshine. I wonder if she ever found hers."
    " She would find it.." He held his wife and wiped her tears.
 
                                          


-Inspired by a true story

Jar of Sunshine Part 4

    Read Part 3
Pre Script- There was some problem because of which part 3 wasn't getting displayed on dashboard.. If you haven't read it, this part wouldn't make sense :P

          She was all of 15 when she was standing at the bus stop, unusually aware of her fragility and grown up much more than the 14 yr old that she once was. It was getting dark and she was scarred of the people who were now crowding the bus stop. She was intimidated by a figure who was hurriedly approaching her but relaxed when she saw it was Sunaina's father. He handed her a few notes secretly and whispered, "Take care". He took to his heels before she could even thank him.
           
              She had never approached a shop alone, forget about a booking office. Her stomach was grumbling with hunger and she felt it knot in anxiety. She went to the counter and asked about the bus leaving to her village. The bored man at the counter yawned and looked at the chart and told her the bus would leave early morning at 6.  An unknown fear gripped her. Where would she spend the night?

             It was dark and it had started drizzling. She thought of going to the Ganesh temple. That was the best resort. The eateries had all shut down and she didn't know if she could afford the ticket if she ate. So she walked straight to the temple. She sat on the stairs. Tears welled up her eyes as the events of the past 24 hours filled her mind. She already missed Anuya and the boy who was too young and spent more than half of his life in her arms. The little girl was a stranger to her.
             " This is no place for a young girl to sit" a woman said.

             Sumitra looked at the woman. It was the jolly woman who lived a few houses away from Anuya nivas. She was a single woman and Ishwar Narayan often mentioned her as "jolly" to his friends. He would say she had a loose character. She would entertain men and keep young woman at her home. He would say  she drank and smoke with the men. The woman was frowned upon by the neighbors. Sumitra shifted uneasily when the woman placed a hand on her shoulder. The woman looked hurt.

            "I know. I know what you must be thinking. That ungrateful couple must have filled your ears too with stories. You ought to know better girl. This world is no safe place for single women. Not with snakes like Ishwar Narayan and his wife."
         
            She wondered what the woman meant.

           "I m not Jolly, my name is Meera. My husband was a friend to Ishwar Narayan. Ishwar Narayan and my husband grew up together. When we were married, a lot of objections were raised for our love. Ishwar Narayan too was never supportive. Yet when he needed money to buy that house, my husband gave him a generous loan. My dear husband died in an unfortunate accident and Ishwar Narayan didn't even show his face. He never returned the loan and I had to forsake my wedding jewellery to pay for the cremation of my husband. How my husband might have been pained to see me pawn the jewellery that he so lovingly made for me. Ishwar Narayan and that wretched wife of his will burn in hell" She cried out.

         Sumitra pitied the woman. How wrong she had been. After all, how can anyone trust what Ishwar Narayan said. Didn't he malign Sumitra the same way.

       " Don't be scared. I don't sell girls. They stay over at my place when they have to make a transit. I charge for sleeping in at my house. It is too big for a lonely woman. That's how I make a living. I rent out the space to travellers or holidaying couples. I won't charge you. Come to my house and rest for the night. There is nobody for a few days. God knows if the demons have even fed you. Let me serve you. That much I owe your mother. "

       "You knew my mother?" she asked in surprise.
      "Why, we went to the same school! You remind me so much of her." she lovingly said.
      " I m not like her." Sumitra had said.
      " I know you must be hating her. Understand one thing. She was a gentle woman. Much like how you are. Gentle and loving. A woman has her moments of loneliness. Her husband stayed away from her for years making a living in the city. She was charmed by a man and went down the wrong path. I admit she did a grave injustice to you by ending her life. She wasn't as strong as you are. But she was good to me always. She never let me go empty stomached when I went to her house and I wouldn't send her daughter away to the dangers of the night."

        She had grabbed Sumitra's hand. She had made hot water for her to bathe and change and then served her hot food. When she was rested well, Meera had fed her breakfast and asked her if she really wanted to go to the village or stay back. She had offered to help Sumitra with her stay. Sumitra had wanted to go back and Meera respected her wish.

       She dropped Sumitra to the bus stand and bought her the tickets. When Sumitra had volunteered to pay she had shoved it aside and told her to use the money in a constructive way. Before she boarded the bus, Meera had hugged Sumitra and said,
       "Remember one thing, there are people who are after your beauty. If you are not careful, they will charm you and rub you the wrong way. Give your heart and soul to one who would preserve you. Marry the man who would stay by your side despite your background. Till then, just do your work. One day the jar of sunshine would open for you."

     Sumitra had thanked her for the hospitality and followed her advise.

    " Do you have Meera aunty's number?" Sumitra asked Ram.
    " Yes, but why do you want that?" 
     Meera had died last year and left behind the house to an orphanage. Sumitra had stayed in contact with Meera and even visited her once. It was during that visit that Sumitra had seen Anuya. 
     
      Anuya had not recognized her. Sumitra could only place her only because someone had pointed at Anuya. She had a wheatish complexion and had grown taller than Sumitra's 5'6. Her hair looked like a nest. The ringlets were gone and her hair looked unwashed. She herself was healthy and wore a white salwar kameez. Sumitra felt awkward to start a conversation with her. Rukmini and Ishwar Narayan were not close by.
     The older neighbors told Anuya who Sumitra was. She seemed happy to meet Sumitra although Sumitra could tell she scarcely had any memory of her.
     "So Sumi did you find your jar of sunshine?" she asked in a hoarse voice.
      Sumitra was shocked when she asked that. First for the question and second for the deep voice she had. Sumitra could never forget that. They had exchanged numbers that day.

     " Maybe some older neighbor still staying there would have his number and inform him" she said.
     "Wait I wil try." Her husband parked the car on the side of the road and dialled a number. 
     "No one picking up" He told her. 
     "Do you think they know yet?" she asked worried.
     "Don't worry Sumi, maybe they know already. We will reach before 9." He held her hand and comforted her. 
      Like he had done 30 years back..

Jar of Sunshine Part-3

    Read Part 1      and Part 2



             In a few months time, Rukmini was again huge with a baby. She lay on her bed all the time and shouted out orders to Sumitra. Anuya and her brother depended entirely on Sumitra to look after them. Ishwar Chandra started coming home earlier than usual to shop for the vegetables and help Anuya with her homework. Anuya was his favorite and he pampered her a lot. Rukmini would sometimes yell at Anuya and the girl would refuse to eat until Ishwar Narayan came home and fed her himself. She was the only one who could get away with even kicking Ishwar Narayan. He indulged her so much that even Rukmini would be irritated.
           
              Troubles started when Anuya began taking sides with Sumitra. She would see how over worked Sumitra would be with all the household work and rebuke Rukmini for doing nothing. She would insist that Rukmini ready her for school and tie her pony so that Sumitra could finish with her cooking. She also started demanding that Ishwar Narayan prepare the evening snacks. He could do little to convince her otherwise. He gave in to her demands and following that one could see Ishwar Narayan grating coconut or cutting onions after returning from work early. In her own little ways, Anuya was the only companion Sumitra had. She would amuse her with the stories she learnt at school, bring her the toffees that kids distributed on birthdays, teach her a few words in English and sing filmy songs for her. In return, Sumitra would fascinate her with stories her grandmother used to tell her. Her attachment with Anuya pricked Rukmini but she stayed mum. After all she needed the girl.

           In her eighth month, Rukmini's sister joined her at Anuya nivas. She had come to help her with the  delivery. She was a pompous fat lady who never failed to belittle Sumitra everytime she opened her mouth. Layers of fat hung from her waist and her belly protruded more than Rukmini. She would put kumkum on her forehead using a coin. Although she came as a help with cooking special nutrition that had to be given in pregnancy, she would otherwise just be a burden. She would sit on the cot oiling and braiding her curly long hair or rubbing tobacco on her palms and comment on Sumitra. Sumitra hated her.

         It was the month of June and it was raining heavily. Sumitra was sleeping after a hard day. She heard cries and woke up with a start. She could feel the unrest in the house. Rukmini was experiencing labor pain. Rukmini's sister had gone to a relative's house and slept there after dinner. Ishwar Narayan was sleeping with the kids. Sumitra was scared to see Rukmini wail like that. She fetched water and went to wake up Ishwar Narayan. He shouted at her to call the neighboring women. Without waiting to search for an umbrella, she had gone from door to door fetching women from neighboring houses.  She had come home drenched and pacified the crying children. Hours later she heard a baby crying. It was a baby girl.
        Next morning, Rukmini's sister came home, smiling sheepishly.

       One would expect that after spending a year in the house and doing so much work, Sumitra would finally be accepted. It was far from the truth. Rukmini always cradled the baby in her arms. With the new baby who was fair and pink, Rukmini had suddenly become very proud. She started discriminating against  Anuya who was getting dusky as she was growing up. It angered Ishwar Narayan but he knew better than to infuriate Rukmini. Although she continued being lazy, she now overlooked all the work that Sumitra was doing and found it unsatisfactory. She also noticed the young lads who would make rounds for a glimpse of Sumitra.

     One evening Rukmini sent Sumitra to the market to buy some vegetables. She took Sunaina for company.
On their way back, they were about to enter their colony when a youth came running and quickly handed a letter to Sumitra. She stood petrified. Not knowing what to do, she threw the letter on the ground and walked away. She did not see Ishwar Narayan walking behind her. He picked up the letter.

     She was pouring the tea when a loud commotion ensued. She rushed to the hall and saw Sunaina and her mother along with Ishwar Narayan and Rukmini. Without giving any further thought to what he said, Sunaina's mother, who was Ishwar Narayan's sister-in-law, began slapping Sunaina.

    "Will you go again with that girl?" she asked.
    "Mother, we did nothing!" Sunaina protested.
    " Shut up, I don't want another word." She took Sunaina to her home.

    "Like mother like daughter" Rukmini mouthed. It cut Sumitra to the core.


     Next evening Ishwar Narayan brought home the neighbors. His brother (Sunaina's father), their other neighbors and a few of the relatives were present. Ishwar Narayan showed them the letter.
     "We gave her shelter, good food and clothes and she is whoring around here. Look at this letter. She is shameless to write love letter and throw at guys. What would become of our reputation were she to beget a child like her mother got her!"

     She pleaded to Sunaina's father, who was the eldest brother, "Uncle, I did not throw the letter at anyone. A boy handed it to me and I threw it back. Trust me uncle. Please." She cried.
    Rukmini spewed venom by saying, " We all know the blood that courses your vein. You expect us to believe you!!" She slapped Sumitra.

    The next moments were a blur. The neighbors stood mute as Ishwar Narayan soiled her reputation by falsely accusing her of affairs that she never had. In the next few minutes she saw herself all packed and thrown out of the house, with not even enough money to go back to her village. Anuya sobbed uncontrollably and hugged her. While she was getting pulled by Rukmini, Anuya had shouted
        "Remember the jar of sunshine? You said that fairy gifts all of us. Yours will also open and you will be happy. Don't forget me Sumi didi"

       "I shall never forget you" she had said to herself.

       With her bag of clothes and the address of her grandparents, she stood at the bus stand. Not knowing how she would go.

(To be continued)
    

Jar of sunshine Part 2

Read the First Part Here

  They had reached Anuya Nivas at noon. They had eaten on their way home. A meal of puri and potato. Sumitra had never eaten something like that. All the oil made her queasy. She stomached it with difficulty. She had grown on a diet of boiled rice and curry. On the other side of the table, Rukmini and Ishwar Narayan ate hungrily. Anuya was eating bread and butter and the 8-month old baby sat in Sumitra's lap sucking on his milk bottle. Ishwar Narayan twisted his face with each bite that churned in his mouth. Rukmini never lifted her head up and was engrossed in her plate. Sumitra wondered what kind of food they cooked at home. Soon she discovered.

            She was occupied all the time in Anuya Nivas. She woke up early at 5 am to brew the tea and keep the water heated for everyone to bath. She was the first to bath and get dressed. She would then prepare the breakfast of chapatis and a vegetable. Ishwar Narayan woke up at 7 and would want his breakfast and tea ready by then. She would then set to prepare tiffins for Ishwar Narayan and Anuya. Ishwar Narayan would leave the house at 8.30 and wake up his wife while leaving. She would then saunter lazily by her daily task. Sumitra would wake up Anuya at 8.30 and get her ready for school. The 4 yr old girl would chatter uncontrollably with her and Anuya listened to all her blabber with a smile. The 8 month old baby would come  to her sometimes in the middle of work and she would host him up her waist while working. After the the baby was bathed and fed and Anuya sent to school, Sumitra would have to wash all the clothes. By noon she would keep the lunch ready. Rukmini would get dressed and go to the market and come back at noon for lunch. After lunch she went to her siesta.

            Sumitra would start preparing some snack for evening at 3. Anuya would return at 4 and Ishwar Narayan at 5. It was the time between noon and 3 that she had all for herself. She would sometimes play with the baby in the verandah. The neighborhood kids would too flock to play. She would talk with the girls her age. It was this time that she truly was free. Her beauty soon became a topic of the area. Some young lads often made rounds of the house to catch a glimpse of her. She herself wasn't unaware of it but like any girl that age, she had enjoyed the attention.

           After the evening snacks there wasn't much work for her. Sometimes Ishwar Narayan's relatives would come over for a brief chat or his friend's would join for tea. After dinner, she would do the dishes and by 9 she would recline to her mat and slip into a deep sleep. She was tired but she was happy. Atleast she wasn't starving and she got a small sum of money which she sent to her grandparents.

         One evening she sat listening to the radio that Rukmini had bugged her husband for. Rukmini would listen to the programs sometimes and Sumitra would silently join in too. There was a knock on the door and Sumitra went to answer it.

        On the door stood a man she had never seen before. The man stared at her and she thought he looked angry. She ran to Rukmini to tell her about the man. Rukmini went to the door and smiled at the man.
"Come in, Anuya's father is in bath. He will join us soon."

The man entered but his gaze did not leave Sumitra. Sumitra felt uneasy. She felt that something was going to go very wrong that evening.

Ishwar Narayan came out from the bath bare chested with a lungi around his waist. He was surprised to see his brother.

"How dare you keep her in your house?" the man was shouting at Ishwar Narayan.

"Brother, you are misunderstanding me." Ishwar Narayan replied meekly.

This man was his brother but there was no resemblance. This man was lean unlike Ishwar Narayan's broad figure. His hands were rugged but his finger delicate unlike the twisted ones of Ishwar Narayan. The man hovered at full 6.2 feet against Ishwar Narayan's 5 feet 8 inches. The man's features were handsome.

"You brought this girl here to shame me! You have the cheek to deny that?" he roared in fury. Sumitra wondered what problem he had with her.

" Please calm down brother. We wanted a girl to look after little Chintu and I have so much of work at home. With two kids and husband to look after and another baby on its way, I was overwhelmed. She was anyway at her grandparent's house and they are too old to look after her. We brought her just to look after Chintu. We will send her away after the baby."

The man had huffed and gone away in anger. Rukmini had snapped at Sumitra to go to her room. Sumitra was still clueless about why the man had been so cross with her. She was seeing him for the first time.

When Sunaina, the friendly girl from the neighboring house told her the truth, Sumitra was aghast. Sunaina was Ishwar Narayan's elder brother's daughter and had a keen ear for such gossip and scandals.

The man was Sumitra's mother's husband. He had shifted to another town after his second marriage.

Sumitra was only a babe when her mother had committed suicide by jumping into a well. She had left behind Sumitra and her elder sister Namita. Namita was the man's true daughter. Sumitra was created out of adultery. Her mother had had a relation with her distant relative who begot her Sumitra.
                           

          

Sumitra was just a suckling babe when her mother was confronted by her husband and the adultery was in plain sight. After her mother's death, her sister was sent to her maternal uncle's house and Sumitra was left in the care of her grandparents. Sumitra had never known her mother or father. Her sister too was disowned by her father who went on to start a new life with a new marriage.

As it happened, Sumitra had an uncanny resemblance to her mother. So much so that it took not more than a first look for the man to know it was his wife's daughter.

That night Sumitra grieved for her mother. The mother who committed a sin that ruined her life. She grieved for her sister who was disowned despite being a legitimate child. She grieved for her father. The father who never once thought about her. She grieved for her grandparents who were too poor to keep her with them. She lay on her mat thinking about how her  life might have been. She heard a woman giggling. She peeked out of her window.

Rukmini sat with Ishwar Narayan in the verandah on their jute cot. It was pitch dark outside.
"So proud the woman was, of her beauty!" she remarked.
"My brother was no less. The most handsome man he thought of himself and yet his beautiful wife found him insufficient to fulfill her needs."
"I wonder what would happen to the girl. She is too beautiful for her own good. We can't keep her here forever. She's going to be a wild thing, like her mother. I thought I would like to see her work for me as my servant. It makes me feel I finally have her mother as my servant. But the sight of her beauty disturbs me. I don't want you looking at her."
"You are more than enough for me. Maybe we should fulfill the lie you blurted to my brother. A kid underway huh" he fondled her and took her right there.

Sumitra huddled back to her bed and wept for what seemed like ages. They did it all purposely. She cried to sleep.. It was just the beginning of her miseries and she had thought she had left it all behind..

(To be continued)

Jar of Sunshine

The house was dead silent. The curtains still thickly drawn. The loud ring of the phone woke up Sumitra. Still groggy from sleep, she reached for her phone. She had never noticed how shrill her ringtone could be and made a mental note to change it today. The brightness of the screen dilated her pupils and she uneasily answered the phone.

"Sumitra, I m getting married today" said the excited voice on the other side.
"What? Anuya where are you?" she asked worried.
"Why, at home. You should come today at 9 to the Ganesh Temple near our house. Bring everyone ok."
"Which home?"
"Anuya nivas obviously. I have to get ready now. You come here ok."
She hung up on her. Sumitra climbed off her bed and searched for her telephone diary. There were some contacts she hadn't fed on her mobile phone. Some long forgotten contacts.
She heard her husband whining about the lights she had switched on. She did not bother to answer him and that alarmed him.
"Sumitra what are you searching for?" he asked perplexed.
"My telephone diary."
He rubbed his eyes and checked the time. It was 4 am. On a sunday morning.
"Whose contact?"
"Ishwar Narayan" she finally mouthed the name. A name she had not uttered in years.

At 5 am they set out in their car. Her sons were still in deep slumber when they had bolted the door behind them. She had left notes on the fridge and under their phones.  She hoped to return before they woke up at noon.

She glanced at her husband. He gave her another look as if asking her if she was sure. She nodded. He looked ahead and gained speed. They could make to Anuya nivas in about 2 hours or less. It was 100 kms away from her home.
She couldn't place her diary and Ram had made whatever contacts he had but couldn't trace the number. Looking at her desperation he had suggested they themselves go but regretted it the moment he saw the hurt on his wife's face. A few minutes later she had overcome her hurt and urged him to take her there. He had given in to her and they had quickly got dressed.

They crossed the bridge. It was getting brighter outside and she could see the still water of the river.
 Years back she had crossed this bridge. She had been just 14. It was the first time she had sat in a bus. Maybe it was the first time she remembered sitting in a bus. They said she was just an infant when she was brought to her grandparents. She must have been in a bus to reach her grandparents then.  When she was 14 she had dreams of a naive maiden. She dreamt  of a big house where she would work. She would get to wear better apparels than the hand-me-downs of her neighbors or cousins. She could have a diet of butter, eggs and cheese like the glossy pictures she saw in her old textbooks.

She had stretched her hand out of the bus and waived at the women carrying firewood. She let the wind ruffle her hair like a loving father that she never had. She ate the berries she had plucked in her grandparent's house and saw the ripples that the seeds created when she flung them in the water from the bus. It had been very early in the morning and the passengers in the bus had been dozing. When they had entered the town, the honks of buses and other vehicles had woken up others. She had never seen so many vehicles in her quaint village. They still used bullock carts there. She watched in awe the many cycles and scooters. When she looked besides her, Ishwar Narayan was still sleeping with his mouth wide open.

She heard a baby wail in the seat behind. The woman came to her seat. Ishwar Narayan too was woken up by the loud cries. The woman was his wife, Rukmini. She saw Sumitra, the wide moist eyes, the thick dark eyebrows, the luscious lips and her fair complexion and felt a stab of jealousy at her flowing raven tresses, silky and waist length. She handed her the baby and said, " Here, hold him for sometime. Wake me up when we reach."

Sumitra had never handled a baby. The baby was only 8 months old. He kept crying and Sumitra tried to make faces to keep him amused. She rocked him gently and sang a lullaby that she had heard her neighbor sing. It seemed to soothe the baby.
"Finally he is stopped!" she heard someone say. She looked up. She saw a small girl. Round faced with large nose and short statured girl in a frill frock. She was standing on the seat behind peeking into Sumitra's seat. She was fair and had curly hair which broke in ringlets at her forehead.  The hair was oiled and tied firmly into a pony but still seemed to be spread in all directions. The girl must have been 4. She seemed to take a liking for Sumitra and stealthily handed her a toffee.
"Give it back to her." growled Ishwar Narayan. Sumitra jolted at this sudden raised voice.
"Anuya I bought that toffee for you. Don't give it to anyone."
"Liar! You stole it from the jar in Chinku mama's shop" the girl answered.
Sumitra chuckled to herself. That was her first time she had seen Anuya.

(To be continued)