Broken promises

               Today, as he sat holding Shreya's hand, he could feel nothing but remorse for their failed love. For the broken promises. A little more patience on Shreya's side could have changed their lives.
               Shreya was getting conscious and attempting to speak. She sensed Naksh's  hand in hers and a bleak smile came on her face. Her frailness was heartbreaking to see for Naksh.
                "Naksh.. I won't make it.. I know its my last."
                "Don't say that Shreya. Please don't." He tried to console her.
               
               "Naksh, I want to tell you something. I always loved you and I still do. If it weren't for my last wish to see you, I wouldn't have called you."
               "Shreya, why didn't you wait? You knew I loved you and I wanted to fulfil all the promises I made to you."
               "I was weak Naksh. I needed you. You always kept me away from you and your problems. I spent days waiting for you. And when I had someone who did all that I wanted you to do, I thought it was love. He showered me with attention. We spent so much time together. He took time to appreciate me. Did you notice Naksh, even once, that I had lost considerable weight in all those months you were busy?"
               Naksh remembered seeing her with another man. She had looked much more beautiful and lean than before. But the sight of her in another man's arms had made it impossible for him to stay there. He had just stormed away from there.
               "Don't Naksh. I know you didn't. You broke those small small promises you made to me. You hurt me and I still loved you. But when someone had time to love me, I thought it best to be with that man."
               "Then where is he now Shreya??" He raised his voice on her.
               "Left me.. like everyone who claims to love me." her voice broke.
               "Why?"
               "I was just his muse. It was good when he was in my life. Maybe you don't know that he was a painter. It was beauty he was after. He was divorced too. When we were dating, his divorce was under way. Once he divorced I asked him about our future. He was a commitment phobic and his divorce had made him lose his belief in marriage. He still kept me happy though he started getting distant when I broached the topic of marriage."
               "It was a joke how I was getting the extremes in love. With you, I always knew that you would marry me someday but I didn't know if you would ever give me attention. With him I experienced happiness but not security."
              "He was shifting his base to Delhi. Meanwhile I too got a good offer in Delhi. He suggested we live in. It was a big decision for me to let go of my inhibitions but I still went ahead. I thought it might make him believe that we could be together happily in marriage. But this step of mine separated me from my parents. They disowned me. They haven't once spoken to me in all these years."
              "I was proved wrong. He was not the one to be settled with. With time he grew distant but you know what Naksh? It never hurt me the way it did when you grew distant. I realised then that maybe I never loved him. True love hurts. Like it hurt me to love you."
             "I m sorry Shreya. I cursed you all these years. Our relation could have been very different if both of us had taken some time to understand the other."
             "You had the right to curse me. I spoilt everything. For us and for my family."

She was getting short of breathe. As if it was going to be her last and that scared him. For all the sorrows they had gone through, they atleast deserved a day of love. Maybe it was time they both forgive each other.
           "Shreya, just let go of the past. It will only  hurt. I want you to forgive me." He had tears in his eyes when he said that.
           "Naksh I don't want to die thinking that you hated me."
           "I love you Shreya. I really do. After all that has passed, I still do."
           
And just like that, he stayed with her through the day. Talking about all the years spent apart. About the times they had spent together. He kept her spirits high.
He saw her drifting off to sleep again. This time with a smile on her face.
He knew what to do now. Things had cleared in his head. HE went back home to get that ring which he had still preserved. He dropped to her favorite restaurant in city and ordered her favorite food.

By the time he returned to her ward, she was already awake.
"I thought you won't come back." she said.
"I had to.. " he smiled.
He set the small hospital table with the food he had brought.
"The food smells like Kuku's!! I haven't had real food in months!!" she jumped with joy.
"I know.. But before that I want to give you something.."
He took her hand and slipped the ring which he had brought for her years back.
"Naksh this is beautiful" she said gleaming at it.
She looked at him with the same love which he was used to with her.
"Naksh please come closer. I want to hug you." He held her close with tenderness.
They had dinner in peace.

She sat resting her head on his shoulders. In perfect satisfaction. IT was time for her medicine and check up.  She dreaded it every time.
"Good Shreya, you are responding well to the latest drug." Doctor smiled at her, giving an understanding look to Naksh.
Naksh followed the doctor outside.
"Will she hold on more?" he asked.
"Response is much better but its difficult to say."
"But you said she is responding well."
"Response is only helping her cope with the pain. I m sorry."

When he returned to Shreya, he saw her crying on her mother's lap. Her father and her brothers had come to see her too. He felt it best to leave her to spend some time with them.
He went out to call his wife and tell her he will be stuck with some work.
Later that night nurse came to call him inside.
Shreya asked him to come and sit beside her.
"You called them?" she whispered. He nodded.
"Thank you" her voice almost inaudible. She held his hand and rested on the pillow.
Minutes later, her mother let out loud wails. Naksh felt her hand going numb and cold.. He had lost her...

P.S : sorry the story stretched long and took lot of time to be posted.

Broken Promises.. Part 3

        "Are you Shreya's relative?" the doctor asked.
        "Ah.... Yes.." Naksh lied.
        "Please come into my cabin." He said grimly.
         Naksh followed the doctor. He knew it was bad news.
        "Mr Naksh, I won't beat around the bush. Medicines have stopped working on Shreya. She won't make it through the day. I would advise to get prepared for it. I m sorry we cannot do anything to keep her alive now."
         Naksh sat in front of the doctor speechless. He had no idea what all had to be arranged for. He had never done funeral preparations. Who should he call?
         "She has gone to sleep but that won't last long. You can talk to her when she wakes up. Try to cheer her. That would atleast help her cope with the pain."

         Naksh went to Shreya and sat beside her. He held her hand lightly, scared that even that will hurt her. He kept staring at her, helplessly sobbing. Yes he had once loved her more than life and he still loved her.
       
         His Shreya. The one who had come into his life and filled it with unconditional love. He had never thought someone could love him so much. She made each day of his life special. Everyday she said something which made him beam with happiness. Her little efforts to bring a smile on his face, made him feel blessed. He felt the luckiest person around, when she held him.
         She used to say that it was their kismet to fall in love. Two strangers with nothing in common fell so irresistably in love.
        He smiled thinking about how they had first met. Unusual circumstances! They were in a departmental store close to his office. He was a fresher in his job and also new to the city. She had come to the same store. They were busy picking up their stuff from opposite racks. They  had turned at the same time and her long hair had lashed against his face. He was almost blinded by it. Moments later he felt himself being tugged ahead. Her hair had entangled in his chain!! She tried pulling it out and that only hurt her. She was moving too much, making it impossible for him to concentrate on freeing her hair.
        He had held her by the waist and pulled her closer. This had stunned her. He slowly untangled her hair and brushed it aside. She was nothing out of the ordinary. Wheat complexioned, short at about 5'2, a little overweight. What was enchanting about her were her eyes. She had large expressive eyes. Her thick, long, luminous hair had already done the magic . What he liked best about her was her smile. When she smiled her eyes lit up. She had that genuine infectious smile that brought a slight dimple on her left cheek. That was the Shreya he remembered.
         One thing had led to another and they had become closer. From acquaintance to just friends to good friends and finally to lovers. HE was not a romantic person but she made him feel special to be in love. She loved him like no one else  ever had. She took care of the small details of his life.
         She belonged to a good family and led a comfortable life. Naksh was a beginner and trying to make his mark. He wanted to give her all the comfort that she was used to and lot more. For that he was trying his best to get higher up in his work.
         Shreya was still studying. Earlier he used to pick her up after her classes in the evening but that reduced due to his long hours at work. The late night calls slowly decreased because he was too tired to talk at night. She kept telling him that she missed him but he could do nothing about it. He sometimes felt agitated that she wouldn't support him with his efforts.
         The work became even more hectic in the next two years when he became an entrepreneur. He would hardly be able to give her an hour or so in a week. They talked on phone but that was not enough for Shreya. She always complained about loneliness which made him angry. Couldn't see that he was doing it for their future?
         Fights were becoming every day thing. He getting angry, she crying, he feeling frustrated and then cutting off from her for some days. She acting crazy. IT was taking a toll on their relation.
       
        Once after a fight she had texted him,
        "One day u will need me and I will b very busy. So busy that I wouldn't even talk to u"
         He had no idea who much that would hurt!
           
        She had started working for an orphanage after her final semesters were done. She used to teach the kids and also organise fun activities for them. She would take time out to call him but he would return them when he would get free and at that time she would be busy. Sometimes they wouldn't talk all day because of not calling at convenient time. He missed meeting her on Sundays because Sundays were the fun days at the orphanage. When she would be busy organizing something for the kids. She was happy doing that and if he had told her to leave it and meet him then she would be upset. She would tell him how he never thought about her and how he was selfish and met her at his convenience. So he let it pass. 
       Somehow he managed to upset her each time they talked. He didn't know what would make her so edgy. She wouldn't take even a joke without taunting him. He loved her a lot but he didn't know how to make her understand that. She was no longer the happy person he had met. 
       Things had started getting better in the 3rd year of their relation. That was the year when she didn't even ask him to celebrate their anniversary. They just wished each other and that was about it. He should have known it then. He thought she had matured and understood his problems and ignored the signs or her walking away from him. She no longer called that often. She stayed busy with her friends or work. When he was busy it didn't matter much but on days when he would be free, he would ache for her. 
       
    It was her birthday. Naksh was better off now. He had already thought about the perfect gift for her. This birthday he was going to make very very special for her. He had bought a ring for her. He would propose her for marriage. 
    He had wished her at midnight and had anticipated that she would insist he spent her birthday with her like she always did. He was not able to do that but now he could do it. Strangely, she didn't ask. Nor did she ask him to say something special. He felt sad that he had denied her so many times that she no longer thought of asking it. This time he would make it up for her.  
    
    He had called her up in the morning but she had been busy with other calls and not returned his call. That day one of his friend had called him to meet up. He had gone to meet his friend in Zangi pub. It will still time for the evening when Shreya would get free from work. He thought of surprising her by going to pick her up at 6. Still one hour for that! 
     He was about to leave the pub when he thought he saw Shreya on the upper floor of the pub. He must have been mistaken. If Shreya had been free she would have definitely called him! And then he saw Shreya's friends Rachel and Smriti coming in and walking up the stairs. Now curious, he too went up to see what was happening. 
    People were dancing to the music that had just started. In one corner, a small group of friends had gathered. He recognized 3 of Shreya's friends among them. They were all singing the birthday song. And then he saw..
     Shreya feeding the cake to a man he had never seen before. Naksh couldn't believe his eyes. That man later slipped on a ring into her finger. Shreya hugged him like she once used to hug Naksh.. 
     Naksh curled his fingers into a fist as he saw that man plant a kiss on Shreya's forehead. Inside, Naksh felt himself breaking....

Broken Promises. 2

          Naksh woke up feeling anxious. He could barely manage to sleep the other night. He had made up his mind to tell his wife everything about his past. About Shreya. He was yet to muster what he would tell her. She was oblivious to the fact that he ever had someone else in his life. This would sure shake her but he had to hold her through it. His wife was already up and not about in their room. 


          "Naksh, the breakfast is ready. My students are coming early for some problem solving. Will be busy till afternoon." she said as he entered the hall while still getting her kid ready for school. She then got busy with her work. She gave classes to college students. This would keep her busy and was just not the right time to tell her. He went to get ready and thought about visiting Shreya in the evening. Maybe he could come early in the afternoon and then have a talk with his wife before going. 


          He was about to leave his house when the landline rang. His wife was busy so he paced back into the room to get the phone. It was from the hospital telling him that Shreya's condition was deteriorating and she was insisting on meeting him. He was left with no option but to bunk office that day and go to the hospital.


         On his way to hospital he picked up some yellow roses... just what Shreya liked. For a moment he had almost forgotten how much he had hated her.. She was on her deathbed. She deserved atleast that much sympathy. Or did he still care?


         He was led to her room on the third floor of the hospital. He knew she would no longer be the beautiful girl she was when they were together but he was never prepared to see what he saw. She was pale. Her eyes were bloodshot and looked in great pain. Her cheeks has sunken and her collar bones protruding out. She had lost a lot of weight. Her hair was kept short and had reduced to such an amount that it almost made his heart sink. He was hurt to see her like this. He had thought that she would get the punishment for what she had done to him, but what was happening to her was hurting him too. 


        She attempted to sit up but was too weak to do it on her own. Her nurse helped her and she motioned her to leave. Naksh was in a strange situation. While a part of him wanted to go close to her and hold her, the other part just couldn't move. Shreya kept staring blankly at him. Her eyes full of tears.
        Naksh sat beside her. Restless, angry, sad,  hurting, crying. Like that night when she walked out of his life. 


          "Won't you give me those yellow roses?" she asked him putting on a smile. That smile which once pulled people towards her. That smile which brightened his day. 
           He handed her the flowers. She looked at them adoringly. Breathing in their smell. 
          "Thanks, its been quite sometime since someone gave me flowers."
          He wondered why no one was there with her at this time of her life.
          "Isn't it strange how you never ever brought flowers for me in all those years we were together and now, when I m about to die, you bring me these and tempt me to live ?" she said.
          "Leave it, you were never too good with catching my words." She waved her hand
          "And you were never too good with understanding my feelings."He replied


          "Why Shreya? Why did you do that to me?" His anger bottled for years was out now.
          "You really don't know? Think about all that you did when I was with you." She too was getting angry.
          "Damn it Shreya, I was working day and night for us. For our future. To be able to give you every comfort that you want. And what did I get in return?" He screamed at her.
          "But what did you do for our present? For that hug I wanted. For that compliment I wished you gave me. For that little yellow rose I wanted as a gift? For that little note I would have cherished a life time if you had given me? Where were you on that lonely Valentine's day I spent waiting for you? What did you do on my birthday to make it special??? Just say "happy birthday" and go off to sleep?  What did you do to make sure that "us" in your future plans stayed "us"? You spent too much time on future to think about the present." she was feeling fatigued with the outburst and rested her back on the pillow. 


          She was getting breathless. Naksh panicked and called for the nurse. 
          "Its about time for the doctor to visit Shreya. I will call him right away." The nurse said running her hands through Shreya's hair and then went to call the doctore. She looked genuinely concerned for Shreya.
          "I m only human Naksh. I did what I felt was right then." she said to him looking hurt.
           
           The doctor came into the room with the nurse in tow. He asked Naksh to wait outside.
            
           Naksh waited outside introspecting all that happened. Whose fault was it that Naksh and Shreya were not together? Who was to blame for the broken promises?

(To be continued)
        

Broken promises

            It was past 9 already. Naksh stared at his computer screen. Just an hour of work left and he could go to bed in peace. He had been denying his son his bedtime stories for a week now. He thought of putting his son to sleep today with his stories. This new project had put a toll on him. Maybe he could manage to spend some time with his wife Neetu after their son slept. He realised he was already dreaming and got back to work.
           He was done with his work when he thought of checking his previous email id. He had a feeling since morning that he was forgetting something about today. Was it someone's birthday? Maybe his old yahoo id could give him the answer. There were some 599 mails! He didn't remember when was the last time he checked it. Anyway Yahoo had some serious spam issues. In the first two pages he couldn't find anything important and assumed that the rest were useless as well. He was about to open the spam box when his son called out to him, "Pappppa come sooon". He shut down his PC, stood up and stretched himself. He caught his wife looking at him. And he knew that look. She smiled and he patted her cheek, "you wait, today I will put him to sleep and be back" he said.
           He was about to enter his son's room when the landline phone rang. He let it ring. He heard the shower running. Neetu had gone for a shower. The phone rang once again. This time Naksh went to answer it. His son who was already enthusiastic to hear his story now made a face. "Paapaaa not done!" "Must be important sonny, let me answer." He wondered who must be calling on landline! It had been long since the landline rang. IT was more of a showpiece now :P
          "Hello"
           No voice from the other end. Who would think of giving blank calls!!
           "Hellooo" this time he raised his voice.
           "Hello" said a feeble female tone.
           "Yes, who is this?"
           "Naksh" she sighed almost leaving a cry. Naksh felt himself getting weak.
           "Shreya" he whispered.
           "I missed you Naksh" she said in that soft voice which could make Naksh do anything!
            He felt himself losing control and then he remembered what she had done to him. His weakness gave way to anger. He had once wanted only one chance to talk to her and today when she had called he didn't know what to say!
           "Shreya how dare you call me!" he tried to get angry but failed. Somewhere it still hurt to shout at her.
           "Naksh, I m.. I m really sorry. "
           "Sorry! That's all you say after all that you did 8 years back?"
           "9 years Naksh.. 9 years and 4 hours back. I have been counting." she murmured.
           Oh yes!! IT was her birthday.
           In the years he had changed his  phone number but the landline number was the same.
           "Naksh it's probably my last birthday.. I m counting my days. Before I breath my last I want to see you. Take it as my last wish."
            "What?? Where are  you Shreya?" He couldn't stop worrying.
            "Tata hospital. Please Naksh meet me once." she pleaded.
            He asked her the visitor's timing and agreed to meet her. As he kept down the receiver he realised his eyes were moist.
            He went back to his son who was angry. He pacified him and after much cuddling and story telling, he finally fell asleep. It was midnight when he finally went to his room. His wife was waiting for him.
"Sorry darling, very tired" he muttered.
His wife turned to the other side of the bed, furious at his behavior.
He felt guilty to have hurt her but he was preoccupied with Shreya.
            In all these years she hadn't bothered about him then why was she remembering him on her death bed? He had forgotten the tragedy this day had brought into his life but today she reminded him the pain again.
           Should he even meet her?

When rats become Yoga teachers..

               Last week I joined the yoga class. This is my second attempt. I had joined four years back, reduced a couple of kgs and gorged some more and later put on double of it :P  This time I was advised by my family physician to join yoga. The idea was to reduce stress and anger management. For those who don't know- I managed to raise my blood pressure so much that the doctor and my parents worried I will break down and the very next day I showed the perfect mercury level :P
               Because of my haywire schedule I have no fixed timings for yoga. I enter into any random batch as I please. The first day I went into early morning 6.30 batch. This batch is packed with aunties. Salwar kameez wearing fat aunties. First time in years I felt thin :D :D One of them even remarked that she wants to get to my size.. Ahaa!! The joys of getting that comment :D :D  As for the stress issues- the yoga tires me so much that I have no energy left to show my anger or take any other stress.. World peace :D
               After half an hour of twisting and turning our muscles, doing that suryanamaskar that leaves us gasping for breath, the shavasan seems like the bestttt part of yoga. The driving energy for those suryanamaskars is the awaiting shavasan.

       On the second day, while I was lying on the floor trying to restore my heartbeat to normal, suddenly a loud shriek from the lady next to me shook me. In a matter of seconds the entire group was jumping around. I was too lazy to get up but the noise brought the dead me back to life. The entire hullabaloo was over a family of rats that lived in the yoga class. 

       Apparently the yoga class was their bedroom :D These rats stayed put in the neighboring kirane ka dukaan  (grocery store) and fattened up on the food there during the day. They are 4 fat rats. 2 stay below the desktop drawer (yes the yoga class doubles up as a nursery class during the afternoon) and two stay behind the door painted with tortoise and hare wala story. Intelligent choice the rats have. 

       The rats decided to meet each other while the ladies screamed away in terror. What is it that makes women give that "EEEEEEEEEEEEek" "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" even though the poor rats have been considerate enough and were crossing the distance from the sides? They are not like those mindless cockroaches which get inside anywhere! 

        Since the day the rats made themselves appear, the aunties have been severely terrorized. A few have shifted their batch to the afternoon when the rats go for their meals. Few have changed their position and stand on the opposite side from where the rats travel. While the rest continue to create a ruckus everyday. 

       A little noise from behind the painted door and there is a change in alignment of all aunties. While the instructor croons, "Relaaaaaaaaaaax ho kar saas lijiye" the aunties are constantly panting. Any asan done with closed eyes is blantantly not done :P Shavasan has been dreaded.

          Today I went in a little late to see that the entire class was full. Kya baat hai! I thought they must have got rid of the rats in the  last 3 days when I had been busy and attended  the last batch of the day. I didn't notice that the place next to the door was deliberately kept vacant and stood there. 

          While I was doing the butterfly yogasan, a small rat passed from right below my thighs while my thighs were up. I swear it would have been crushed if I had brought my thigh down. Thunder thighs I have :P 

                                                   

                                                    

                                                     I m  nowhere close to this :P 

             What followed was aunties rushing all over the place. I sat there patiently and went on to the next pose. The rats decided to have a gala time today and the entire 1 hour they kept going to and fro drawing hysterical noises from the poor aunties and a few young girls who had come today. I bet they are not coming tomorrow. The rats have made them do more exercise than the yoga instructor  :D :D Aur rakho darwazewaala position khaali :P 

             While leaving they asked the instruction a shift in their batch. The funny thing is no amount of rodent control will help as these smart fellows are never around during the day. so chuhe maarne ki dawa is out of question as the nursery kids are close by. Like everything, Adjust kar lo :P 

P.S: In the batch next to mine, 3 fat girls come for yoga.. I feel soo happy to see them! I want a picture with them.. :D Evil I know.

P.P.S: Of the many things I can do, this makes me proud.. I feel like an elastic when I do this :D :D 

                                             

                                        

Lessons learnt

            "Mamma I will be back soon. You remember my gift ok?" her daughter yelled from the door as she ran to catch her school bus.
             Today her daughter was going to get the results of her internal test in school but Rachna was worried about something else. She was anxious about something her daughter had done. Rachna had prided herself for managing her job and her home perfectly. She believed she had ingrained good values in her daughter until today.
              Today she had found a storybook, tucked under the pillow of her daughter, while cleaning the room. It did not belong to her daughter Sana. Rachna opened the book. The first page of the book showed doodles done on the name previously written on it. Below that was a hurriedly scribbled "Sana". Her daughter had stolen the book from someone and kept it for herself. This was the cause of concern for Rachna. Where had her daughter picked up such a trait?
               Why Sana would steal was beyond Rachna's reason. That too a storybook? Knowing how avid a reader Rachna was, she would have gladly bought Sana the book if she had asked for it. Was her daughter stealing for thrill? The thought sent shivers down Rachna's spine.
                After thinking long and hard and setting aside the anxiety, Rachna decided to take actions to stop this habit of her daughter right away. Sana had to realise the wrong she had done. Rachna knew Sana was a sensitive girl. A wrong word or a little carelessness in handling the situation and her daughter would be lost to the wrong ways forever. One never knows how the tender and young minds work.
                Later that afternoon, Sana returned from school with a wide grin. She had got a 10/10 in her test.
"Mamma you promised me that you will give me a gift, where is it?" she asked.
"I did not get time to go to the market. I will go in the evening and get you something you will love." Rachna replied.
"Mammma, this is not done! You told me you will give me when I come back." she whined
"I will give you I said. Finish your lunch and get some sleep. Before you wake up I will get it ok."

Sana stomped her way to the bedroom. After sometime she came to the table for lunch. Rachna never pestered her to eat. She had taught Sana to respect food when it was served and not waste it. Once when Sana had thrown a fit because she didn't like a balanced diet for lunch, Rachna had taken her to the nearby street children and asked her to give her lunch to them. She didn't give in to Sana's demand for junk food for lunch and made her go hungry. But looking at the street children who feasted on her lunch, Sana realised how lucky she was to have fixed meals unlike the kids who didn't know when their next meal would come.

Today was time for another lesson. Her daughter had erred, but that didn't mean she couldn't improve.

"Wow my gift!!" Sana jumped in joy looking at the gift wrapped in blue paper.
"See I told you I will get it." Rachna said
"Ya ya mamma, let me open it."
She opened the gift and suddenly her face was pale.
It was a brand new story book but the same one which she had stolen from her friend.
"What happened Sana ? Didn't you like the gift?" she asked her daughter who wasn't seeing her in the eye.
"Its good." she muttered.
"You would have loved it if you hadn't already stolen the same book and read it." Rachna said

Rachna didn't utter a word after that. She didn't blame her daughter for behaving that way nor did she point out her flaws. She left it to her daughter to figure out the wrong.
Her daughter sat stunned. Her eyes were welled with tears.
Rachna took Sana into her arms and said,
"Sana I won't ask you why you did it. I will suggest you what you should have done. You should have asked me for the book. I would have given you. Even if I couldn't give you something, its not good to take away from someone else. You could have borrowed the book and returned after reading. Because you of your mistake you lost your gift. Because of you taking someone else's book, they lost their book. Now I leave it to you to decide how you are going to return the book."

Rachna had made a concious effort to not mentiont the words "steal" and "thief".
                                                     

The next day she saw her daughter making a card. Sana had made a "Sorry" card and attached it to the first page of the brand new book which Rachna had bought last evening. However Sana had not mentioned her name. Rachna didn't mind it. Mentioning the name would only lead to guilt and undue torment from other kids. Her daughter had learnt to give and learnt to make up for her mistakes.
After parting with her brand new book, Rachna was sure that Sana wouldn't make such a mistake again. If she had wanted, she could have returned the same book but she had made up for her wrong by giving the brand new one.

That afternoon when Sana returned from school she quietly went to Rachna and said, "Mamma I m sorry. I will never steal again. I gave her the new book with a sorry note. She was happy to find her book under the desk."

"I know dear. Freshen up and come soon. I have made your favorite dish for lunch and also made a chocolate cake."
"Wow chocolate cake!! For what?"
"One good turn deserves another." Rachna smiled.
               

Yellow pencil

                                        
"Will you tell me what it is called?"
"Yellow pencil!" I replied between sobs.
"Arre that is the color, tell me the name of that pencil" my Mom was getting irritated which lead to a proportional increase in my crying.
"Ok I will look for it."

I was in first standard. I had a friend of mine who had bought these yellow pencils to school. I used to somehow love her stationery. She was the first one who had brought "penpencil" to school. Those pencils which had many leads in it. Loss of one lead and the entire pencil would be useless. Nevertheless I had wanted that too and Papa had brought me a blue penpencil. Now this yellow pencil had caught my fancy.

Mom searched in stores and came back with a yellow pencil which had black stripes on it.
'This is not the pencil I want! I know you will not bring it now!" I threw a fit.
"There's nothing called as yellow pencil! The shopkeepers keep asking the name. This is also yellow so keep it." she yelled at me.

For days I kept pestering her for the yellow pencil.
In the lunch break my friend opened her pencilbox for some reason. She used to place a paper in  her pencil box so that it doesn't get dirty with the pencil marks and for some reasons she also put something fragnant in her box so that everytime she opened her pencil box it would smell of sandalwood.
I saw four bright yellow, sharpened pencils. It had no name on it.
Ego kept me from asking her where she bought it from. It made me more stubborn to have those pencils now.

I dared not ask for those pencils after Mom's outburst. After some days I even forgot about it.
One day while watching TV, I saw an advertisement on cable. It was the same yellow pencil! Its name was Lion!
Now finally I had a name for the pencil and called out Mom to tell her I want Lion's pencil. She might have been frustrated but it was rare that I did not get what I wanted so much.

My Mom worked far away from where we lived. There are many places near her workplace which are places for wholesale stationery and many book stores as well. She made it a point to go there on a Saturday (when it would have been packed with crowd) and look for the Lion's pencil. The shopkeepers told her that the pencil might not have been produced on a big scale yet and the ad might have been just promotional. There was no Lion's pencil in market yet.

She had promised me to bring those pencils if she found them but she had no luck. She knew I would be inconsolable if she returned empty handed.

She came home with four pencil sets. Two each of Apsara Gold and Apsara Extra Dark. Those were the times when Nataraj and Apsara (the normal black one) were used in our school. These two were newly launched so she had thought this would make me happy.. How right she was!

                              
I was satisfied with the new pencils and forgot all about the yellow pencils. More than writing with them, I played with them and sharpened all of them :P

How much joy a pencil can hold only innocence can know!

Today while travelling back from college in a crowded local train, I saw a girl seated and writing with a yellow pencil. Memories came back flooding. Years later, when I think of it, I realise the tact with which Mom dealt with me. I realised how even I might have been a cause for many young children of my class crying for the new "extra dark" or "apsara gold" pencils.

Later ,when my stop was about to come, I stood near the entrance and the girl with yellow pencil too came there. She was still holding her pencil in hand.
Ego kept me from asking her the name of the pencil :P
Some things never change I guess!