Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Kaama purti Maama..

           I remember the first time I heard this phrase from a Maharashtrian friend of mine.. She was talking about some fellow and suddenly she said, "He is like that... " giving a deep thought she continued.. "Kaama purti Maama."  I give  myself fair credit for being fluent enough in the local language but I had never heard of this phrase before. On questioning her she said, "Arre the one who would make you uncle only for his work." Back then there was hardly anyone I could associate with this phrase. In this day, my life is full of this species whose ideology to survival is "Kaama purti maama."
A little more about this species..
This species is adept at camouflaging. 
A common slogan of this species is , "All are my friends." More so because this species is afraid of losing benefits from the non friends!  
This species has an inherent ability to modify statements.
This species cannot survive without migrating. It migrates from one group of people to other. Be careful if this kind of a species ever becomes party to your secret. You can trust the secret to be put up on the notice board.
It is difficult to judge the characteristic of this species. They look driven by moodswings although it is only a mask for the ever conniving mastermind, they act childish and ignorant a well practiced tactic to bury out information which they can use against you when in need.
This species is apt at making every mistake of theirs look like a misunderstanding and giving the false notion that they repent it. The crocodile tear reserve is in the lacrimal sac of this species.
They will often make a public display of their apology and do it in such a way that you are forced to forgive them although half-heartedly. Often the reason they give in public for apologizing would be completely different from what actually conspired and if you make a scene of that you would be termed as the one making a mountain out of a mole.
If you face any more confusion about this species then the instant way to recognise them is, within a day of apologizing they would ask for a favor! 

My experience with the above mentioned kind of people has left me wondering if a virus of  "Kaama purti maama" has secretly invaded the genetic code and mutated the humans!
Ok, one and two exceptions here and there are negligible, but when you find that people around you slowly peeling off their skin to expose the true colors you are left with the thought, "Am I in the wrong era??" 

Whatever happened to those morals and goodness taught to us in childhood? 
It is a far better when you can choose between good and bad.. this mutated goodness-cum-badness is a tough one.. You never know when to let them close and when to keep them away..

What I also know is that these KPM people do not have guilt.. Guilt is an induced state for them which is stable only till the fake show of apology is over and done with.  

The first few times I encountered such people I knew instantly that these where the people I had to stay away from..
When a KPM who was acting like a good friend showed his KPM ness I was like, "You too! "
When a childhood friend suddenly acted stung by KPMness after she got hitched I was like, "Wow.. Welcome to the world!"

So what do I do? 
Do I act all hurt by KPMness of my one time friends and pity my plight.. I tried doing that but got pretty much bored.
Do I try knocking some sense into the heads of those KPMs which where once dear to me? I know that the bug has blinded them and there is no reason that they will see..
DO I adopt the KPM philosophy and throw a stone for a brick ?? ( Eet ka jawab patthar se!! Khi khi khi) 
The thing with KPM virus is that it cannot be counter attacked by another KPM ! It only makes the original KPM get projected as the victim.. So no use acting as a KPM on a KPM..

So what do I do? I do what I can do best! That is to be good and yet be indifferent.. How do I deal with KPM:
1. Give them one word replies.
2. KPM people mostly have the habit of talking alone to attract attention. Do not act interested! 
3. No matter what lengthy explaining they give for their behavior just reply in "OK".. It bugs them when you don't act agitated or act sympathetic to their story.
4. Master the habit of giving flat replies without a hint of rudeness. 
5. The weakness of KPM is their KPMness.. Make use of it.. Harass the hell out of them for what they need.
If they ask you if you have "XYZ"
Reply a "Yes." Do no ask if they need it! 
The next question would inevitably be if they could have it.
Again a yes.
Then the ball is in your court.. Give them when you wish. Do not act good enough to give it to them that instant.. 

There is nothing much I can do about them than what I mentioned above. Like KPM is inherent and also spread, goodness can only be inherent! If you are good enough you wouldn't enjoy harassing even a KPM unless it is absolutely deserving..

All I can do is warn you about the species ! 
Suggestion to deal with them is welcomed! 

P.S As you must have guessed, I m practically helpless with this fever , sore throat and cold.. Typing away is the only relief I get from boredome! So bear with my posts :) ITs two posts already.. I better sleep !


Mystical Skeptical Me said...

Reallyyyyy...Get well soon Honey!*Hugs* By the way, I have a few names popping in my head ;) I think you may know one or two of them... :D I like the warning you have given here....even some of the people I am really close to are bitten by KPM virus, and I have no escape from them. :| :D :)

Vinati said...

I have a girl in my class and yes, she is suffering from KPM virus. I am 100% confident after reading this post. With every point, I was like, "Oh, it is so true." Ha-ha..now I know the name of her illness. Thanks Maithili. :)

And hope you be well soon!
take good care. :)

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

Sometimes I know there is nothing to say, so should I pick up my puzzle and just walk away,
Do I follow my conscience, am I mock sincere,
I don't know what I'm doing here


You never know, what goes around, comes around. So just keep quiet, and smile inwardly. I've tried this, it works, is greatly satisfying. So next time if some one tells you that you too belong to the same kind, so called 'opportunists', and that too from the very same people whom you' relegate to that category, don't feel bad. Just oblige :)

Blasphemous Aesthete

Priyanka said...

Get well soon milady:(

And as for KPM, they exist everywhere, all over. There is no we can avoid them. But even if we can't beat em, never join them and compromise on our values. Right?

Good one.

Rachit said...

KPM, met many of those in hostel life. And good phrase. KPM :D

Weakest LINK :)

Jyoti Mishra said...

Get well soon..
and yeah the density of such people is very high

Raam Pyari said...

get well soon :D

Rohit said...

Wow. When you come to think of it, there are more KPMs around than you could have imagined !

Hope you're well!


maithili said...

@MSM: I m making the guesses :D :D There is no real escape from KPMs ! they are everywhere!

@Vinati : hehe thanks girl! Just shows how many of us are suffering the same situations with KPMs :D
Thanks I m much better now :)

@Blasmphemous Aesthete: How come you have such amazing quotes for each occasion???
Thank you for the suggestion though :D I try doing it on and off and sometimes just blow up :D

@Priyanka: Absolutely right Priyanka.. even if we wish to give them the dose of their own medicine we would never be guiltfree.. Thats the difference between us and KPMs :D

maithili said...

@Rachit: Thank you :D

@Jyoti Mishra: Thanks, I m doing well now.. KPM is really spread wide and far now.. :D
by the way I love your display picture :D

@Raam Pyari: Thank you so much..

@Rohit: yes Rohit, there are many KPMs all around us :D
I m doing well now ..thank you for visiting..