Friday, December 16, 2011

The girl who knew no joy

               Perhaps writing a post about her would not cause any difference. You may not see her and feel for her the way I did. My thoughts are all jumbled and it is in this state of disturbance that I write this post.
             
               I got to know her two years back. It was a newly started website about my regional language. It was like a facebook with people speaking my language. Most of the members there were either middle aged, from my native or those settled abroad. It was in this crowd that I got acquainted with her.
               Trishna (name changed). Her image display was a sky with a crescent moon. Somehow we began pinging. Through our chats I got to know about her.
               She was a housewife. Her husband a hotelier. She was originally from Mangalore and came to Mumbai after marriage. She whiled away her time on the internet when she was alone at home. She was in her mid 20s.
               After a few days of casual his we began to chat more.
              One day she asked me, "Do you wear kurtis? Those beautiful ones that have now come in fashion?"
              I typed back, "Yes I do.. mostly I wear kurtis"
              "Oh I love them. There are such beautiful patterns. I just cant stop looking at them in the market!"
              " So you wear them too?"
              "I wish. My husband doesn't like it. He doesn't have a problem but my inlaws.. "
              "You should tell him then. Wearing a kurti should not be a problem at all!"
              "They are uneducated. My husband is also a college dropout. They are not modern."
              "Hmm.. what have you studied by the way?"
              " I have masters in nutrition. But what's the use? They won't let me work."
I did not have words to answer that. It is true that such situations still exist. I had no idea how a girl can live with such restrictions.
                 

 A few days later there was some random topic about love, on that website. She pinged me,
"So you are in love?"
I replied back,
"Have you ever fallen in love?"
"Yes, I had a boyfriend in college."
"Then what happened?"
"Nothing my parents arranged my marriage then I had to marry."
"What about your boyfriend?"
"What can I say in such cases. I  had to forget him."
"Do you love your husband now?"
"Not that the this child is in my womb, it has to be love right?"
"Ohhhhh !! you are pregnant?"
"Yes.. 6 months.."

We often chatted and she told me how the baby was doing in her womb. She talked of the child. She wanted a son. "Just like that" she said, but somewhere I knew she didn't want a daughter to ever face life this way.

When she was 7 months pregnant she left for her native place. She had my phone number. Promised to text me when the baby is delivered.
A few days after she left, she called me.
"Hi.. I m online.."
"Oh great, coming!"
She told me she was at her mother's home. Her "godh bharai" was over. She told me that her husband had gifted her gold jewellery which was cause of much jealousy and anger of her sister-in-law and mother-in-law.
I was infuriated. She was experiencing such joy and her in laws were being so insensitive!

She called me once more after that while she was going for check  up. Within 15 days her baby was born. A boy like she wanted. She asked someone to text me.

I started going to college. Spent less time online and she got busy with her baby maybe.
After months she called me one day. I was using a new mobile and her number wasn't saved in it. I didn't place her and asked, "Who's this?"
"Oh you forgot me !"
"Sorry my phone is new.."
"Trishna here!!"
She was sounding very happy. Unfortunately I was busy and I told her I would get back to her soon. But soon didn't happen that soon and she didn't have a fixed number to call on. She never came online as her in laws didn't have internet.

Last year a common friend of Trishna and me on that website (which had closed down) messaged me on Google.
"Did you get new of Trishna?"
"No..what  happened?"
"Her baby died."
"What??????? Nooooo!!!! How??" I was shocked.
"Her husband had lifted the baby but somehow he slipped. The husband lost control and baby got hit on head. Died on the way to hospital."
"This is so sad. How is Trishna?"
"Her distant relative is a friend of mine. She told me Trishna has gone mad. She is totally out of senses."

I remembered the beautiful dreams she had for her child. How she wanted to bring up her child in native till he grew up to go in school. Of the names she had asked me to suggest... All dead.

None of us had her number. She had shunned the world..

This week the same common friend messaged me.
"Do you know about Trishna?"
I was silently praying that she is fine and maybe having a baby again..
"No..Tell me."
"She's dead."
"How do you know?"
"Her relative... She died last month.."
"How?"
"She had cancer for last six months.. After her baby died she got detected with cancer.. She was bedridden."

I don't know what to think of it. How can life be so unjust to anyone? She knew no peace even in death. She died everyday after her child died. Suffered the pain, emotional and physical.

What had she asked out of life? Wearing kurtis and having her child?
Her love, education, dreams, child, freedom everything got snatched one by one.

Maybe her baby needed her..Even in heaven.



20 comments:

PeeVee™ said...

It's painful, Em.
The world is filled with these kinds of people- simple with simple hopes and simple dreams. All they want is the simplest of things that will give them joy beyond what an iPhone or a designer dress ever would. But they are the ones who don't make it.

God has a cruel sense of humor, someone said.

May her soul be at peace. May she find what she was denied here atleast in Heaven.

Kunal said...

Heartbreaking..

Few people are tested a lot in their life by destiny. And the presence of few people in her life didn't help her cause either..

I hope, no one shares a grief like she faced. A human heart can only take so much..

Best Wishes.

phatichar said...

I'm just too stunned...I don't know what to say. No amount of words are enough :(

You take care.

Atrocious Scribblings said...

I`m at a loss for words, Destiny probably took her out of this misery to put her in a more happy and peaceful place.

I cannot help but wonder what her parents/close family must be going through in this tortuous time.

May she rest in peace.

Keirthana said...

I am crying right now. I don't know what to say. To think of the cruel play by destiny in her life... She didn't even ask anything out of ordinary.. A normal life.. IS that too hard to provide.. it's so unfair.. May her soul rest in peace.

TheBluntBlogger said...

This is so bad! Why do people get women in house if they can not let her be. How difficult is it to let someone wear a kurti :( such a small wish...and such a careless, husband...I hope she is at peace now...perhaps...that's a much better world than ours!

Sigh!

Jyoti Mishra said...

it was so sad..
very poignant..
she wanted really small things... but this brutal world.
:(

It feels really sad tht some gals or its apt to say many gals r still living in such restrictions.

Soumya said...

Ouch that hurt!

Sheesh that seriously hurt. Why is that as women we need to sacrifice and adjust? Like all the time? No matter how many centuries pass and even if the world was to end tomorrow, this is one thing that would never change. Never.

God seriously has a wicked sense of humor. But maybe, maybe God felt that the baby needed her more. Thats the hope.

May her soul rest in peace.

Suruchi said...

This is so touching and sad-some people live a life of such sorrows that you begin to wonder about god's sense of justice!

and yes, maybe the baby needed her in heaven or maybe she needed the baby...but those months of living in every minute death for her-i shudder to even think of it. may her soul rest in peace!

maithili said...

@PeeVee: God is strange.. He gives the least to one who wants simple things :( I don't really understand the logic..

@Kunal : you are right.. A human heart can bear only so much pain. I pray no one faces life like she did.

@Phatichar: I didn't know how to react. I wrote this post after a week. It took time to for realization to sink in.. Thank you

@atrocious scribblings: I really hope she is in a better place and smiling :)

@ Keirthana: Unfair :( I just pray that she is at peace..

@ TheBluntblogger: I feel nothing but hate towards her family. Her sister in law was mean. Her mom in law had a daughter right? then how can she behave that way with someone else's daughter. Her husband didn't hv the courage to stand up for her.. I do hope the other world is better.

@ Jyoti: This was the situation with a well educated girl. Imagine the situation with others! The problem is that there is no social support system. She could hv lived independently but she wud have been shunned by her family..

@ Soumya: Yes its sad that females still go through such situations. I too hope she is happy with her baby.

@Suruchi: Those month without her baby would have been death to her.. Death would have been more pleasant.. :(

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

Perhaps, her baby made a request to God to relieve his mother of the miseries of the world.


Regards,
Blasphemous Aesthete

sulagna ™ said...

M you know what ? i have a four month old and i know what it is for a mother, even if the child gets a tiny injection ..gosh you gave me the shivers..so surreal na ? i know i will sound crazy saying this, but yes her baby wanted his mommy so did what she had to..but so so touching !
i still cant understand why did God do what He did ?? why ?

maithili said...

@Blasphemous Aesthete: That is what I feel too :)

@Sulagna: I cannot imagine the grief that would have dawned on her. Finally the baby and mother might be at peace.. God has strange ways of working..Answers we will never get..

sumitra said...

What kind of a parent drops a baby? That's really sad. I don't get it, I can't even picture it. It's really shocking.

maithili said...

@Sumitra: Don't know :( Maybe the child tried to break free and he lost balance! :( Its really sad..

Mystical Skeptical Me said...

:'( I read it now. My heart is filled so much. I can't type. :(

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Sudeshna Das said...

This is so sad. But your last words brought a smile (although sad smile) to my face. Beautifully written.

maithili said...

@MSM: I know its really sad :(

@Sudeshna Das: Thank you :) Welcome to my blog dear :)

RAVISHANKAR said...

Hi,
Really an emotional post. I have no words to say!!! A baby means everything to a mother.. She lives for the child and losing a child is like losing her life and unimaginable occurrence. But the last line "Maybe her baby needed her..Even in heaven" Was an statement to be made May her soul rest in peace!