The day love came... Part 1

           IT was first day of the winter session of college.. He loved winter. It was always pleasant to get up and feel the early morning dew.. The chirps of the birds about to leave their home for food.. He looked outside the window and gulped a fresh breathe of  air.. He was happy to go back to college today..
           Introducing Prem Bhat. The male lead of this story. Before proceeding further there are a few things about this guy that makes him stand apart..
           He wears geek glasses out of need and not for fashion. He has been sporting the same haircut since his school days. Dresses in formals on weekdays and appears in casuals on Saturday ( something he followed on his own). Always found with his I-Pod when travelling and with his big fat books when alone. He is someone who would choose reading a book over IPL (major difference). He is a member of the "First bench Association" and had always been a brilliant student. He doesn't have a girlfriend yet. Partly because he never did find anyone fitting into his definition of "his girl". Partly because he never did acquaint himself with many girls.
          Somethings about him no one knows...
He is a die-hard romantic at heart.. No ,DDLJ isn't his favorite movie.. But you know, those things like looking for a long term relation.. That spirit to fight it out through tough times.. He is someone who is looking for that kind of love.
He is trained in martial arts. You wouldn't believe it going by his appearance. He never was someone all about show off..
He really values his family. His Dad is his hero and his mom is his confidante. No he isn't a Mamma's boy.. He uses his own ideas but his mom is someone he always turns to in despair..


           He reached the college.. His group was right there in the canteen, sharing all about the missed days..His friend Atul waved his hand to call him over..
          "Hey Prem, check out who you got for poster presentation?" he chirped..
          "Who? or what?" he asked back..
           "No.. it's a who.. seems like college wants us First Year P.G students to work with First Year undergraduates so that they get some experience of it.. " He looked quite enthusiastic about it and Prem guessed it might have to do with him getting some hot chick as his partner.
            "Ok I will check out.. It's put up on the notice board right?"
            "Yes, dude." He answered and got back to his talking.
Prem walked over to the notice board.

He searched for his name.... against it was the name of his partner....
"Ashna Bhat" he said aloud..

"Hey hi.. that's me" said a sweet voice from behind him..

He looked back to see who it was and he was surprised for a moment..





(To be continued)


P.S I plan to stretch this in many series so have patience ;) 

Oh shit moments..

               This is not about Oh Shit! not again! (Pathetic book.. guys opt for a porn if the need be rather than this book..total sleaze content with soppy drama..
               These are some moments when you burst out into "Oh Shit . Read on...

1. You are having a bath and suddenly there is a water cut... If you have soaped yourself you throw up your arms to find the tap and worse if you hurt yourself doing do.. "Oh shit" !!
2. You are texting a gossip to your bestie (Girls do it okay!!) and then in the excitement of sharing you goof up and text the subject of your gossip.. Happened with me!! Embarrassing... 
3. Running to catch a train and then giving that victorious smile... then you see that it's a train going elsewhere!! as in you caught a fast train and you needed to board a slow one!! Supper "Oh shit"' moment for Mumbaitees.. The other possibility is you being a guy and catching "Ladies Special" by mistake!! First hand experience of "Hell hath no fury like woman" :P
4. You stay up whole night to study for exam and next day come to know you studied a different subject... Errr.. the exam is not of that subject!! This happened once to a girl in my train! She panicked and cried like hysterical one! 
5. The person you have been waiting to call , calls up and your battery gives up!! Sux bigtime!! 
6. You rely on last day studying and there is a power cut!! (I stopped taking such risk after the last time it happened to me..  I have a charged tubelight now.. I keep it charged all time :P)
7. You make fun of someone senior (teacher, khaddooos relative, boss etc) and that person is standing behind you!! wondering what happened? Yes the khaddoos relative part! But then I can spin stories, you must have guessed it by now!! That's how I got by..
8. You are watching porn and your Dad gives you a surprise visit !! This has happened to someone I know.. Result : That person has to use net under parental supervision!! "Oh Shit"!!!
9. You pull your door with all strength and realise you have  your keys inside the house!!! The king of "Oh shits" if you have ever gone looking for someone to help you out of this, you would know what it is!!
10. Being caught with the wrong person, at the wrong time, doing something you shouldn't be doing... applies to anything and everything..let out for imagination :P

P.S : You are welcome to add more to the list... 

Witnessing a change.. Part 4

Read first part,Second Part and Third part before reading this...
3/9/2010
Dear Diary,
             Why is that we come into this world due to somebody else's wish ? Why do we get so entangled in relations that we cant even leave this world on our own will?
             Yesterday I was so determined to put an end to this suffering. I cried through the night.. Staining my pillow with tears.. Every moment I had flashbacks of that betrayal.. I wanted to give up my life today.. I dressed up for college.. 8.04 fast train... crowded.. just slipping down my hand..no one would know if I died in an accident or committed suicide..
             I looked one last time at my room.. My sister was still sleeping.. I hugged her and gave her a peck on her cheek.. She sleepily hugged me back.. Mom and Dad were getting ready for office too.. Dad was singing happily as he always does after coming from the morning walk.. Mom was busy with her multitasking but she didn't miss calling me out ,"Beta you took lunch na?" ..I had a  lump in my throat which I gulped down.. I would never be here again... I walked out just when the intercom rang.. It was the watchman asking for my Dad.. I went down while my dad talked over the phone..
             Half way down I remembered I left you back at home.. I came to fetch you back.. The atmosphere at home was silent.. Mom let out sighs..Dad was tense.. My sister had woken up..
             "What happened Ma? I asked... She didn't say anything..
My Dad told that the girl in the flat below ours had committed suicide.. Being the chairman of the committee of our building Dad was informed first of the tragedy. It was blow to us. She was an introvert. Hardly ever established any conversation.. Once or twice we had talked .Even then she seemed depressed but then we never thought she had any major problems in her marriage.. No one ever heard any commotion from their flat.. Speculations were ripe that she took this drastic step because of marital problems and dowry harassment. It came as rude shock to one and all..
             The girls parents came running on hearing the news.. They were inconsolable.. Her Mom fainted several times and Dad just couldn't take in the truth.. My Mom had tears in her eyes looking at them.. I cringed thinking all that happening to my mother as well..
              Later in the evening while we sat speechlessly for snacks, Mom just said.."Today's generation has no courage. Even a little of trouble is enough to blow them up and drive them to suicide."
              I blurted out "Mom we never know what the problem was and what that person was going through."
My father broke his silence,"Suicide is never an option. If you have problem,you have to deal with it.. Living through it is courage.. What would have happened if she had divorced? She would have to live alone right? But is this life so cheap that you give up life for anything? what if she had someone better in store for her? What could she lose if she had given life another chance? Now look at what she has done..She has killed her parents too with her.." Saying so he left the room.
              If it hadn't been for you I would have never come back and witnessed what situation had downed upon my family just seeing someone else commit suicide.. If I had been a few minutes early they would have been living the same tragedy today..
             No I won't end my life... I will work hard to get success in my career.. I will keep them happy.. Ricky will regret what he has done one day... He just doesn't deserved my life...
             It is tough.. going back to that college..Facing him everyday.. Being mocked at by Laila.. Making friends again.. and letting the dark past behind.. But atleast I have my life.. I will make a fresh start....
             Being above 18 and being an adult are two different things.. I m 20 but today I feel like a matured girl.. This transition has come in a very harsh way.. I have learnt the lesson in life early.. The distractions are tempting..The pressure to fit in so compelling.. The want to belong, to be accepted so desperate.. Being true to yourself is all that matters.. Keeping one's individuality intact is more important that fitting in somebody's life.. Wish I had known that earlier.. A lot could have been averted...

"YOU CAN BE DIFFERENT, BUT YOU HAVE TO BE YOU!!!"

Witnessing a change.. Part 3

Read First Part and Second Part before reading this..
2/9/2010
Dear Diary..
           I ruined my life..with my own hands..
I can't confide in anyone else but you.. Everyone has abandoned me. I can't tell my friends because against their warnings I did what I pleased.. My parents would die of shame.. Anyway telling them isn't an option anyway.. who do I blame for what went wrong...
           My indecision and my weakness doomed me.. Ricky was all I saw.. I lost my judgement.. My better senses.. and my dignity..
           Everyone is doing it, so what? I didn't want to lose him... But lose what? He was never mine..
Looking back I curse the  night when I called him home.. I betrayed my parents in their absence.. It was raining outside when we both dropped into my place... We were drenched... I should have known it then.. But I was a fool blinded by love...
           Never realised when that touch, that kiss which lingered thirstily on my lips, those desperate sighs progressed to something more.. something forbidden.. something which should ideally have been sacred within the confines of a secure marriage.. but it was everything but that... I was hit by a tornado.. It was furious.. Hungry.. Eating me by pieces... till every little part of me was defeated.. It left me vain.. I was a bundle of nerves.. Fear and the lurking darkness of the inner being within me..
           He kept saying, "baby its alright.. you are in love aren't you.. ?" ... "yes" I said.. It stopped raining when he went back home.... I should have never taken that step..
           When all this happened I wasn't so negative about it.. I was living in the realm  that was far beyond what is the reality.. I thought I m giving myself to the guy I love.. We are both adults.. What could be so wrong.. Everything was wrong.
           The next day he didn't come to college.. I kept calling him.. He didn't answer.. The next few days we hung out but he was never the same Ricky I came to love.. He was just somewhere else... in another dimension.. I thought he too is feeling uncomfortable..
           Then I saw him.. He was with Laila.. Holding hands..hugging.. and hi-fying his friends.. He looked happy.. I approached him.. I could see he was trying to avoid me.. He came over to me and asked me to go home, he wouldn't be accompanying me.. I asked him why he was being so indifferent to me.. The pat reply was "You don't need to cling to me all the time, just because we have made out"... That was soo rude..
           I pleaded him to atleast tell me what I had done wrong.. He just kept silent.. I was at complete end of my wits. But my world came crashing down when he said he didn't want to be with me anymore.. Reason? I m too boring!! I don't let him be!
           Why did he do this to me? what had I not done to please him.. He says I enjoyed it as much as him and I don't need to nag him about it.. Maybe I always was a game for him.. He was not the right guy.. Playboy.. How right my friends were.....
           I can't live with this shame.. I want to end this pathetic life of mine.. I have thought enough about it, no man shall ever take advantage of me.. I just want to die... Tomorrow will be the last day of my life...

P.S To be continued...

Witnessing a change.. Part 2

  For the first part read here

22/8/2010
Dear Diary,
           It's been a month since me and Ricky have been going around.. Things have changed so much in this short span.. Ricky has been distant lately.. I don't know what to do to please him..
          Maybe I m not that good a girlfriend.. I don't fit into his group.. My friends are anyway so much in their own world.. It's strange how I long to be with Ricky when I m away from him, but the moment we are together I want be back home..
          Last week we went to his cousin's party.. I had never been to such parties before.. I don't even have the kind of outfit worn at such parties.. Evening gowns, tunics, etc etc what not.. Fashion talks completely out of my sphere of knowledge.. All I know is they were all skimpy.. Something no one would dare wear on street.. I felt uncomfortable.. Ricky seemed to be enjoying the music ( I don't have an ear for such hard stuff) but I couldn't bring myself to dance with them.. I wanted to leave early, leaving him no option but to accompany me back..
          Once in the region where we could hear ourselves I felt sorry for spoiling his party..
"Ricky m sorry.. I just can't be like this people.. They are ..they are so different.." I was feeling low.
"Hey its ok baby.. You don't have to be like them.. You are special.. I love you for that." he said reassuringly..
         When we reached for the parking lot, I was just shocked to see his cousin and his girl in the car..
"Hey your cousin is here?"
"Leave them baby..must be making out.."
"The casuality in his tone made me feel like I m from some other planet.."
"What?"
"Nothing..isn't it rather too dangerous to do such things... I mean they aren't married.."
"Oh come on!! Everyone does it.. This is 21st century.. Don't tell me you aren't going to do it.."
"Ricky... lets just drop this subject.." I was getting nervous... Thankfully he let it go..

Diary, I love him a lot.. I trust him too.. I just get uncertain when the stark difference in our thoughts erupts.. Thinking about all this ado about making out before marriage... I really don't know... It's wrong .. I don't know why..



P.S (to be continued)

Witnessing a change..

5/8/2010

Dear Diary,

        Haven't been there to write much lately.. You must be thinking I forgot you.. How can I forget my only companion of those lonely nights I spent ..feeling hopeless and dejected..when writing to you was the only comfort I had.. I used to always think if I would ever find someone who can read you.. Reading you is reading my soul..

       Well, I think he is the one.. I have found someone to share my life with.. Yes my life is whirling with the joy of it.. I used to always wonder how falling in love would be.. Now I know its beautiful..  I must be the luckiest  girl in this world to have him..
       Can you guess who it is? You probably cannot fathom how deep my luck is running.. He is Ricky, the heartthrob of college.. Yes, every girl wants him but he is only mine now..forever..
        I don't know when I nurtured feelings for him.. You know I used to think he is a show-off and often avoid him.. My friends used to say he has dated all the beautiful girls in college.. Playboy they used to say.. Well if he could have anyone, then why did he chose me? considering that I don't even figure in the "good looking" criteria.. The only explanation is that he loves me for who I am and that is what matters,isn't it?
        My friends aren't talking to me ever since me and Ricky are a couple.. No it's not like they completely shunned any contact.. But you know, that sudden stopping of conversation when I enter..that low whisperings when I and Ricky are together.. They think I don't notice.. Maybe it's strange for them as they don't have any boyfriend so far.. I  hope someday they accept Ricky too.. They will realise he is a nice guy..
        Ricky says I need to trim down a bit.. I m working hard on it.. Right now I weigh 50 kg.. At the end of this month have to reduce atleast 2 kg.. It's not like I m changing myself for him, he would accept me anyhow.. But I want to do this for myself too.. All his friends have girlfriends with size zero figure.. Laila is always looking for a chance to taunt.. Laila that snobbish, irritating creature who thinks she is the coolest girl in college.. Me going out with Ricky must have hurt her ego..
        If I even start to tell you how Ricky and me fell in love I could be writing all night and still not complete.. To keep it short.. He came to the library (giving the librarian a mini heart attack) one fine day... He was totally at lose.. Finding no book small enough for him to read he came to sit where I was already sitting and started small talks.. ( I have reason to believe he never really came looking for a book anyway).. The result of those small talks is that we got thrown out of the library for making noise..
        It was embarrassing to say the least.. He apologized to me.. We ended up exchanging numbers and what followed was long night calls, daily texting, chatting etc etc..until on 22nd July he proposed to me... :) :) and what else could I say but yes??
         I used to wonder how it would be like to be on a date..bunk lectures.. meet secretly.. It's thrilling but at the same time I feel guilty.. no one knows that while I m actually supposed to be in library, I m in the neighbouring garden with Ricky.. He says its no big deal.. But its first time for me... Well there are a lot of first times...
         It's late now.. got to sleep.. will be back soon... goodnight.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


P.S to be continued ... :D

Battle of the mind..

          He came out of the house in the same disturbed mood as everyday. He was a meek husband and it gnawed his self-confidence long back. His wife was nagging as he left. If she had a billionaire of a husband then too she wouldn't be satisfied he thought. He wanted her to just die.. There was no other way he could get rid of her.

          He walked in haste to the station. She would be fuming with rage and he was frightened of her. He was sandwiched between the two women in his life and he had no control over either. He couldn't even decide which of them was a softer tyrant.

         She was pacing back and forth on that deserted platform. Her flaring nostrils made him nervous.

"You are late again. What do you think I m? Your servant?" She asked him without even looking at him once.

"I .. I m sorry.. She.. She didn't let me leave." He was sweating..

She glared at him with those furious eyes..

"Oh.. servicing her.. were you?" She gave a crooked evil grin..

 He didn't know why he had goosebumps.He hung his head in shame.. Why did she have to humiliate  him always..

"Speak to me you dumb creature.. Did she fold your tongue too?" She was shrieking..

He looked around tensely.. A few commuters had come and were staring at them.

HE pulled her aside.

"Talk calmly.. At least spare me some respect.." he pleaded her.

"As if you have any respect. She has made you her dog.. Why doesn't she put a belt around your neck too?" She screamed ruthlessly..

He was red in the face. He had been hurled enough abuses at from both of them. Only his wife didn't know about her but she knew about his wife and took every opportunity to degrade him..

HE was aware of the whispers behind his back. He was in dilemma.. HE knew if he left she would follow him to his office and create a scene there.. On the other hand if he stayed at the station she would still not relent.

She pulled his hair violently. HE struggled to lose her grip.

"Listen to me you idiot when I m talking to you. Don't ogle at other women on the station." She stomped her feet..

"Ok Ok I m sorry.. I was just checking if the train has come." 

"Oh yes, the dog has to catch the train and then slog for his mistress.. Feed her make and make her plump so she has enough energy to order you around. I m leaving you." Saying so she started walking out.

The thought of her leaving broke his heart. He needed her..She was like his drug. Harming him when she was there but still he couldn't bear to live without her.

"Please..please don't go.." he held her hand.

"Leave me you bastard. Go to your wife and rejoice in your slavery. " She started throwing up her arms in the air to free herself.

"I will come early from now.. I will.. I will I promise." He didn't care if the people around laughed at the sight of him crying.. He was sobbing to melt her heart..

"Ok fine... Meet me tomorrow and we will hatch a plan to get rid of that bitch.. Now go.."

"You promise you will meet me here tomorrow?" He asked her..

"I will come.." saying so she left..

He boarded his train smiling.. She would be there with him...

On the station..

"Did you see that man?" the boy asked.

"Yes... at first I thought he was talking on the earphone.. But there wasn't any.." the girl replied.

"Arrey pagal.. He is a madman.. Comes to station everyday and talks to himself.. You saw his drama na." the boy laughed.

"I was soo scared. How come nobody stops him at home only.. Ghar pe bhi pagal honge.." she said.

"Hey I m there na .why to get scared? forget about him..let's go to college." and they both left the station.

P.S : You must have seen many such people talking,crying, shouting and laughing to themselves.. For the world they are mad people.. But they live a life wherein there is no differentiation between reality and illusion. Often they are threatened,abused and made to go to extreme steps due to this condition..Like here the man is threatened and abused by his imaginary lover. Such people are schizophrenic..This condition may result from emotional traumas too.. and is becoming more and more common in people today.. for more information on the same visit http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001925/